The Dark Room
by AllenWalker16
Summary: Allen is thrown into a mysterious dark room, only a bed to sleep in. Upon release, Kanda and Allen go on a roller-coaster ride full of emotion and perhaps even stumble across love?
1. Chapter 1

**The Dark Room**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own -Man, all rights go to Katsura Hoshino**

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I don't know why it's like this...i don't know why...I'm like this. Did you think i asked for this?...Do you think i know what's going on?

They threw me in..such a dark room...why...? It's...not a cell...but it's not really a bedroom either...where am i?

My eyes scanned the darkness, my back rested against the door as i still had my trusted comrade Timcampy on my head,it was at least less lonely while he was there. I decided to explore, trying to see if eventually there could be light. I checked around every wall, no windows,no lamps, no lanterns or candles, not even a single match. All i found was a mattress on the floor in the right hand corner on the far side of the room - it didn't seem that comfortable too. I let out a sigh, "Looks like we are going to be here for a while, Tim" i said, to my golden friend. I was trying to keep calm about the situation i was in...but i just couldn't remember how it got to this point. I was now beginning to get cold and the darkness was starting to trick my mind into thinking that it was time to sleep. I knew fully well there was sunlight before i came in, but i just don't know how long i'd been sitting by that door. Maybe it had already been an hour or two...i didn't know...i had no way to tell the time. I could now feel my body start to shiver, my legs curling up to my body as my arms wrapped around them...why, did i now feel so tired? My eyes started to close on me, drooping as my head began to dip downwards.

I was almost asleep right where i was before i heard footsteps, my eyes opened but i still couldn't see. They got closer..and closer...and then stopped at my door.I gasped lightly, quickly putting my hands on the floor and pushing my body weight back to move away from the door. I stood now crouched down on my feet, looking to see who would come in. I could hear the sound of jingling, clanking of chains or maybe even keys of some kind...i could also hear the sound of someone tinkering with the locks...wait...Lock/S/? I had multiple locks on my door? The door then opened, light pouring in and filling my dark room with light. It was blinding at first, so i covered my eyes as i was blinded.

"Hey" was what i heard..i couldn't make out who it was...my eyes were blurry and tired, used to the darkness that had surrounded me for so long.

"Y-Yes?" i asked, my voice suddenly in a soft whisper as i tried to open my eyes to see who was talking to me

."Will you please stand a moment? I don't want to carry you..." it was male...and they were kind of a dick...wait-...could it really be him? Could it really be...Kanda?

I rose to my feet, my eyes squinted as Kanda lead me out of the dark room. I looked around as my eyes began to slowly adjust, and then i saw him...standing in all of his own fucking glory...Kanda Yuu. I've liked him for a while though, he is just-..so strong and, even though he doesn't always make it show i know that he cares about those he works with...he DOES crack a smirk sometimes..and i've actually heard his laugh, i've seen him talk to others and the way he looks at specific people with his eyes...he gets a spark, a quick but happy spark in his eyes.

"Moyashi" I was pulled back to my senses as Kanda called me that ridiculous nickname

"K-Kanda" I spoke softly "Why...was i let out?"

"Well, you have to eat don't you?" Kanda sighed, gazing to the side of him just to avoid eye contact. What was this? Was Kanda...shy? Why would he be? I mean, why did he get put in charge of bringing me food? Did he volunteer?...Was he forced? I hope he volunteered...because that, would really make my theory on Kanda's feelings about us true...

I stared at him "I suppose so". I didn't bother giving him long answers, the truth was, i was tired...and i wasn't that hungry either, i just wanted to sleep...sleep sounded wonderful.

"Very well then"was all Kanda had to say before beginning to walk forward "You aren't going to need shackles correct? I hope you don't plan on running away"

Did Kanda know i was exhausted? I couldn't run away even if i tried..that'd be suicide especially since this is Kanda and he can outrun me. I was too drained from lack of light and warmth...i couldn't run.I followed Kanda to a small wooden table where he placed a single bowl in front of me with a glass of water

"Eat up, you won't be able to eat until morning".

"Who made it?"

"Jerry"

Jerry made it...So it was safe right? Nothing was dangerous if it came from Jerry, but could i trust Kanda? I like him...so everything tells me to trust him...but, there is that voice in my head that tells me not to...

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 **((There is part one!~ Hope you enjoyed!Will Allen eat the food that is supposedly from Jerry? Will Allen ever figure out why he was placed in such a dark room?! I guess you'll have to figure that out by reading part Two! :)**

 **All advice, tips and ideas for next chapters are always apprechiated and are taken in Private Messages!))**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Dark Room**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own -Man, all rights go to Katsura Hoshino**

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The food sat there in front of my being on the old wooden table. All I could do was stare it down in silence and suspicion.

"Not hungry, Moyashi?" Kanda remarked.

I shot him a glare, "It's Allen...and I don't know WHAT i am"

Kanda stared at me in annoyance, leaning against the wall that was right up against the table behind me. "Well start eating. Your time out is limited"

I heard this, and then thought a moment to myself in wonder. Why was I even in here? Did I do something? Did I hurt someone? I sure as hell know I could NEVER hurt someone intentionally...so why?

"Kanda..." I started, gaining the older males' attention "Why am I in here?" I finally asked, my voice low and quiet as my head bowed forward.

"You mean you don't even know why you are here? I thought it would be obvious" he stated, staring at me with a look of confusion. I looked up at his eyes, what a pretty light black they were... but times like these, those eyes looked cold.

"I'm afraid i don't..." I stated, staring at him "perhaps you could enlighten me?"

"Enlighten you?" Kanda smirked, and it sent a shiver up my spine. Did Kanda really know why I was in here? Why was he playing mind-games?

"Yes, enlighten me. Why am I here?" I answered, impatiently as I sat in the uncomfortable wooden chair with my bare feet against the cold cement floor.

Kanda smirked to me "how about this...you behave for a few days, I'll tell you why you are here, got it, MOYASHI?". Oh boy did I want to put my fist across his jaw! I had grown so impatient.

"Are you going to eat?" he asked me, but I didn't answer. I just sipped the water I was given and refused to eat. I couldn't trust the food Kanda handed me with an attitude like that, it was unsettling for me. He had something planned and I didn't like it...Why was he tormenting me like that? Is he trying to stir me up? Start a fight? Is he really itching to break me? Either way, I won't let him have his way...two can play at this game.

It was several minutes of me sitting there in my chair, just drinking water until I was full. I think Kanda soon got what I was doing, because after I had at least Five whole cups of water, he pulled me away from the table and threw me back into that horrible, dark and cold room.

"Good night, Moyashi" was what I heard as he locked it up.

"IT'S ALLEN YOU PRICK!" I shouted, using all my strength to punch and bang against the door. The noise echoed off of the empty walls, making a slight ring throughout the area. I could tell from the halls this was some kind of dungeon...but not like any I've ever seen before...this looked like it was for someone that needed to be taken away from everything that they could use to harm themselves-...Like self harming or possible suicide attempts. I knew I could never do that, but I now I only wondered if that was why i was put here...Did I hurt myself? Did I hurt someone else? I can't remember...I was, on a mission and...when I woke up I found myself here.

I dropped to the stone cold floors, my breath ragged from the destruction attempt against the door...but it looked completely fine. It could remain sturdy even with my left arms strength. I wasn't getting out of here. I let out a sigh as I heard Kanda's footsteps walk off...I could see light under the door! My eyes lit up with hope, putting my fingertips at the light sorce and stared,this was my only light...and it was so far away, locked away while I sat in a dark room all alone.

I sat there for an hour before moving to the mattress they'd given me. I laid down on the bed, staring at the light from under the door. My eyes were heavy and my body was shivering as I wrapped myself with the thin blanket. I was exhausted and cold...but I didn't want to sleep...I didn't want to have nightmares...or see anymore darkness...I just, wanted that light that shined on the other side of that door. Tears began to wield up in my eyes, the light on the other side of the room becoming blurry from my eyes filling with water. 'I just want out of here...'I thought, Tim crawling out of the white shirt I wore. In fact, now that I noticed, my vest and tie were gone along with my shoes. Where did they go? Even my uniform and belongings were gone...where could they have gone? Was I even in The Black Order?

As I thought to myself, I wiped the tears that tried to fall and closed my eyes. Timcampy nestled himself into my hair on top of my head, trying to comfort me "thank you Tim...I'll be okay" and with that, I slowly dozed off.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Strange Dream**

 **Writer's note: Okay, gonna' try to go a bit longer with this chapter. Hope you enjoy ^-^**

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 **Chapter 3**

As I fell asleep, I went into a strange dream. The dream was strange because I could see Kanda hovering over me, whispering to me. His words were sweet and comforting, far different than the words he'd been speaking to me just moments ago. His eyes were beautiful with a special sparkle in them, but I wondered why we were so close, face to face, I loved it; trust me I wasn't complaining...but I just wondered why.

How could he get so close to me after speaking such horrible insults towards my scar and left arm? Calling me "Cursed One" like he was any better. I had always wanted to smack him for those insults, but...this was different, he had pure kindness in his eyes, staring at me gently and tenderly like I was the most important thing to him. I wanted it to last so badly, but I knew this wasn't the Kanda I know. Kanda needed to be harsher towards me, though I know that sounds masochistic but, it always gave me a happy rush to hear him always sting me with his words of hatred, almost as if I got off of from it-...WHICH I DON'T!

"Moyashi.." he spoke to me.

My face turned red slightly "B-Baka the name is-"  
"Aren" he said, trying to say my name but it didn't turn out the way he planned.

"Can you not say my name correctly you oaf?" I asked harshly with an evil smirk. I was shocked to see the samurai give a shy look, his eye brows tilting up as he looked self-conscious. I felt bad now "S-Sorry Sorry! I didn't mean it"

"You better not" he said, giving me that look like he was planning something terrible.

"W-What is that look for?" I asked, almost too scared to ask him. I was currently being pinned down by the older males' weight, his chest against mine as I laid on a bed. Where did the bed come from? Was I on it the whole time?

"Oh, you'll find out..."he whispered, beginning to lean into my face. I almost squealed as I closed my eyes.

My eyes widened as I woke from the dream, a faint gasp slipping from my lips as I looked around the dark room. I couldn't tell what time it was, but it seemed like forever of me just laying there in bed. It wasn't until I heard footsteps approach the door that I sat up, Indian style. I listened as the locks were tinkered with and then braced myself for the light as it opened. My eyes were closed shut, the orange glow on the other side of my eyelids before I slowly opened them to see the dark figure in the doorway. My eyes stung from how bright the light was in the hall.

"Come on Moyashi-"

"It's Allen!" I interrupted

"whatever," he sighed "listen here now. I am going take you to the bathroom. You probably have to piss, so while your at it, you can take a shower too. Don't get your hopes up on escaping any time soon. There are no windows throughout this entire area" he told me, stepping out of the way and to the side to make room for me to slip through.

I didn't know whether I should feel happy I could get a shower, or worse because of what little hope I had from getting out of this place. I stood up, a faint blush on my cheeks as I thought about that dream I just had. What did it mean? Would Kanda and I someday get along enough that it would hurt him if I was mean? Or-..was it something more?

I looked to the black haired male as he narrowed those dark cold eyes at me, oh how they burned a fire in my chest; it almost took my breath away from how hot he was. I turned my gaze from him and looked up and down the hall before Kanda shoved me in the direction I was supposed to go. I gave a glare towards him, my body tensing up as I made a few hesitant steps forwards before my legs could glide more smoothly, I was so sore from the hard mattress. He soon stopped me, pushing me against the wall

"AH! H-HE-" he then covered my mouth

"Keep it down Moyashi," he whispered in my ear softly "they'll hear you"

I turned my gaze to hear some men talking. They looked like guards...was Kanda protecting me from them?

As this thought occurred to me, Kanda put me in metal shackles, both hands and feet. I glared up at him as he glared softer down at me

"It's to keep you out of trouble. If I was caught letting you out without anything restricting your arms or feet I'd be in serious trouble...you even worse" he told, pushing me off the wall "Now get going Moyashi"

I gave a dramatic sigh, knowing that the teenager in me was giving that "Special" attitude that Lavi told me I had sometimes. I guess it's the only real thing about me that is normal. I began to walk like Kanda told me to; moving where he pushed me since I didn't know the way and would stop when it came to multiple turn hallways.

We soon made it to the bathroom and I looked around curiously just to get view of what i was working with. It was a public bathroom where men could share... _without_ privacy. Grreeaat~ just what I needed when I already felt self conscious.

Kanda released me from the shackles and pointed to what appeared to be stalls

"Those are your only privacy, after that you have to shower out in the open" he told me like I didn't already know. He must really think I am an idiot.

I walked over to the stalls and used the bathroom before walking over to the sink to wash my hands. I could've just gone straight to the shower to wash my hands but I felt like that would be more unsanitary that it probably already was. I turned as my hands dripped with cold water from rinsing and my eyes caught the showers. I walked over and looked around before sighing. Guess there was no avoiding it, I was just glad that I was the only one in there. I stripped off my clothes and then set them in a basket before making my way onto the cold tile.

I chose a shower and turned it on the warm setting and then set my hand under the water. It was freezing cold! I kept my hand under though, hoping it was only time until it warmed up but it didn't. I then tried to turn it hotter but it only stayed on that terrible cold temperature. Was I to never be warm again? I accepted my fate, hesitantly stepping under the cold water and whimpered. My hands hugged my shoulders as my legs moved together to try and keep my body warm with curling up. I was applying soap to my hair when my body began to shiver and shake from how low my temperature had dropped.

I began to think to myself as I rinsed my hair out, like how I had even ended up in such a terrible place like this. There was no glass, not even mirrors to see if I was at least looking as sick as I felt. Not even those terrible fake windows that I heard about. I began to think if something had happened to me...like if I had snapped and did something terrible to someone involving glass. Maybe I hurt someone? I certainly hope not, I don't think I would be able to live with myself. But...what if I did something else? If I snapped I must've been off the walls crazy. Maybe that's why I don't remember. But what did I do?

I went to wash my body, my hands full of soap rubbing my shoulders and then down to my arms where I suddenly felt sticking on the inside of my forearm. I gasped and winced, quickly washing the soap from them before looking down at them. There were cuts along my arms. They were red and irritated, and they looked fresh too. Did-...Did I do this to myself?

I stared at them in horror before washing the rest of my body, avoiding to get soap on my arms and then rinsed in the cold water. When i finished and the water was turned off, I heard the door open. I gasped out of habit, squatting down quickly to hide my body and looked to see who came in. It was Kanda, which only make my already blushing face so much brighter with embarrassment.

He was looking away, looking like he was at least trying to help me feel a little better. It wasn't working.

"Oi, I brought you a towel" he said, holding up a white fluffy towel. It looked big, and warm. I wanted it so desperately to warm me up. I slowly walked over, shivering and shaking as my teeth chattered. I reached my hand out and tried to take the towel from him, my arms sticking to my chest to try to keep warm but something unexpected happened; I was pulled to Kanda's body as he wrapped the towel around my shoulders, holding me tight to his chest.

"H-Hey! What do you think you are doing you bastard?!" I shouted.

"shut up" he replied as always.

I was going to say something back, but then it hit me as warmth began to find it's way back to my body. He was trying to use his body to warm me up. My eyes softened as my head fell forward against his chest, no longer willing to hit him even though I was stark naked with embarrassment as he touching me. My eyes began to water, hiding my face in the fluffy towel as I couldn't help but start to cry. Was I here because I was a danger to myself? Is this why I am now having to suffer in this kind of place?

"Have you figured it out yet, Moyashi?" he asked me with a soft tone. It was so different, just like that dream I had. Kanda was holding me and being gentle, it was so bizarre.

"the fact that I hurt myself?"

"But do you remember what from?" he asked.

I gave a soft sniffle, but continued to hide my face. My pride was keeping me from letting Kanda see the tears that fell, even though he'd probably seen them fall way more than the others.

"no" I answered "I don't know how I hurt myself"

"You broke your mirror and then sliced your arms with the shattered glass...You were screaming when Lavi found you...crying on the floor as your arms bled out. I believe you kept repeating how the man in the mirror was going to get you"

My eyes widened at this. The man in the mirror? The-.. shadowed man in a trench coat that always creepily grinned at me in my reflection? That's the reason for all of this? I couldn't remember one bit of it. I wiped my tears with the towel as Kanda took it from my shoulders and then began to dry off the rest of my body for me.

"Do you still not remember?" he asked and I shook my head no as I stood there with an embarrassed look on my face.

"was this drug related?" I asked.

"Tests showed up negative, so no..it wasn't. You weren't drunk, or drugged" he told softly "You were out of your mind exhausted from lack of sleep and I guess you just lost it" he said, looking up at me and then put the towel on my head "I brought you fresh clothes".

I pouted through the towel as he explained it to me "so, you mean to tell me that I just...'lost my mind' ?" It sounded ridiculous, I'd never lose my mind over something so-...so-...strange.

"I don't know Moyashi. It could've been from sleep deprivation or it could've been something mental. But until they are able to run some more tests, they won't know for sure" he told with the same dull tone as normal.

I gave a nod of acceptance, sighing heavily "Very well then...I guess I am stick in here then...C-could I ask a favor Kanda?" I asked softly.

Kanda's gaze glanced towards me, his eye brow raising "a favor? And what might that be?" A question...so does that mean there's a chance he'd accept it?

"Um...could I maybe have another blanket? It's very cold in the room I was put in" I said softly.

"I'll try to convince someone" he answered. I was amazed...he was really going to ask for me?

"Um Kanda?"

"What Moyashi?" he asked, his tone sounding like he was getting more annoyed.

I began to dress myself, "Why-...are you being so nice to me?" I asked him.

Kanda looked at me, almost as if he wanted to say something but then looked away and gave that dull look "I don't know...anyway, get your ass dressed or I won't get that second blanket, Mo-Ya-Shi" he smirked evilly at me.

I blushed brightly and then quickly pulled my pants up "BASTARD!" I shouted loudly, hurting my own ears in the process of the echoed room.

Kanda gave a smirk and then walked to the door "come on" he lead me out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **The Dark Room**

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It seemed like forever here...constantly being in a cold room with no light. What were they doing? Protecting me from myself. I was here because I had broken a mirror and cut my wrists with glass.

Kanda was the only one I could talk to...he always came, every day and then he would check on me just because he found out I didn't like the dark. He would always lean against the door and talk to me, a little latch he'd open to let light in so he could speak to me. It was never about anything important...We'd just talk about little things about-...well, everything.

It had been months since I was placed into this rigid room, and honestly...it didn't feel that bad anymore since Kanda had gotten me that warm blanket so I wouldn't freeze to death. I was here to be safe, not to die from hypothermia.

Today was the day my friends came to visit me. I was taken out of my room, cleaned, dressed and my hair was even trimmed a little just so it would be neater. Normally, I would have a problem with this, but since it was Kanda doing it all I just shut my mouth and accepted it. I had learned not to fight or argue with him...for some reason, I don't find him all that irritating-...Okay that is a lie but not AS irritating

"Moyashi" Kanda called out to me as he finished the last button of my white shirt.

I gazed up at him "Yes?"

"Behave," he told, ruffling my white hair and then lead me out

"Are they here?"

"They've been waiting,"Kanda told me and I was actually quite shocked by that they were here already. I walked with Kanda down the hall, looking around as I began to see places I've never seen

"Um...K-Kanda where are we going? Aren't they here?" I asked him, confused.

"Yes but you can't bring them to your room Moyashi. There is an area for visitors"he told me, smirking as he stopped at a door.

The walls were now white and pretty and the floor was now a pretty marble tile.

Kanda kneeled down to my feet and began to put socks on them. The moment I felt the warmth, I couldn't help but start to cry. Kanda definitely looked confused "Did I hurt you?"

"N-No..." I answered and sniffled as my warm tears fell down my cheeks "I-It's just that my feet haven't been this warm in a while". I couldn't help but whimper and cry, covering my face with my arms.

Kanda gazed up at me and then slipped my shoes on my feet and tied them. He helped me dry my tears and made sure I was okay, then we walked out and I could see Lavi's red hair from where I was standing. I walked over and then smiled a little "Lenalee, Lavi"I greeted.

They both stood up and hugged me tightly

"Thank goodness! Are you alright!?"Lavi wailed in my ear

"Y-Yeah I'm perfectly fine Lavi" I smiled a little, and then wrapped my arms around them and hugged them both.

"We've been so worried about you Allen-Kun,"Lenalee said softly, trying to hold in the tears that threatened to leave her dark violet eyes.

I smiled gently at her "L-Lenalee, I told you I was perfectly fine. I've been okay. Kanda has been here the whole time so I haven't been as lonely as I would've been" I insisted

"Are you sure?" Lavi asked me, a questioning in his tone as his one eyebrow raised.

I smirked at him, "Yeah Lavi, I'm sure"

After clearing up and confirming I was okay, I was soon told many things that I had missed, like Marie and Miranda suddenly becoming a couple and Choji losing a few extra pounds (not that there was anything wrong with his weight anyway). I listened to their stories and what they told me, and eventually, I began to miss home. I was missing home so bad, just wanting to sleep in my own bed, wanting to see my dearly loved friends whom I've missed SO much. I couldn't help but hold back the tears in my silver blue eyes as I sat there, listening to them talk and go on about all that I missed. I missed those two most of all.

"So Allen," Lavi started. "Are they treating you well? Are they feeding you enough?"

I faked a smile, my mask going up so they wouldn't see the hurt I was feeling, the longing I was having. I wanted to go home, I wanted to see them every day and go on missions, eat Jerry's food and train. I wanted to be an Exorcist again. I was tired of this place, I hated that dark room and that horrible mattress on the floor. The more I began to think about those terrible things, the more my eyes began to water and I could hardly contain my tears. Unfortunately, Lenalee noticed my distress.

"Are they doing something to you?"she whispered to me as she leaned in close.

I simply shook my head at her question, not knowing what else to tell them. It wasn't that they were doing something _**TO ME**_ , but it was the fact they weren't doing anything at all!

Lavi then leaned in "Are you getting enough sleep?" I shook my head at his question. "Food?", I shook my head again. They kept asking and asking me questions, eventually, I began to burst into tears. "I want to go home"I finally said, tears falling down my pale cheeks as I looked down into my lap. I couldn't dare make eye contact with my friends, I felt bad as it was, hurting myself and then getting my own sorry ass stuck in here.

Lavi and Lenalee looked at me with soft expressions, pity...that's all I saw. It was hard to not see it...it was hard to not hate it. They were my friends, and they loved me right? They care for me right? Of course, they would feel pity for me...people who care pity someone who is in rough times.

My friends wrapped their arms around me, pulling me into a tight and loving embrace, making me crumble into tears as he began to sob. I held onto them tight, crying out loudly as people around looked at us, wondering if something was wrong. I was held until I could think clearly and calm down, repeating over and over how much I hated it there and how horrible it was. I thought someone would've come to stop me just by how the men looked like I was making a bad name for them.

"Allen," Lenalee said softly "I believe, that when you get better you will be let out. They can't keep you in rehab forever and we won't let them. We expected you to not like it and we expected you to hate it...but-"

"But we didn't expect you to miss home and start crying like that" Lavi interrupted her.

I sniffled softly, looking down ashamed. I honestly hadn't anticipated crying. I just-...felt that horrible feeling in my throat and it came out like an explosion.

Lenalee, Lavi and I all talked for a while; we talked so much, an hour and a half had passed by. "Allen,"Lavi spoke to me "when you close your eyes tonight, tomorrow, or- hell, for the rest of your stay here...think of how happy you will be to be surrounded by all of us again...to live the life of an exorcist again"he said to me with a smirk "that way, when you get back you'll be so relieved I can see you cry again". I listened to Lavi's words, at first, it seemed touching...but then it went downhill by the last part. I felt my anger bubble up and punched right down onto his head "Stupid Lavi!" I shouted and then ran off to the door I came in where Kanda was waiting for me to finish my visit.

Kanda glanced to me, watching me step back over to him "finished?" he asked me. I simply replied with a nod, looking back to my friends and gave a soft frown as they waved and shouted their goodbyes. I teared up, waved and then followed Kanda back into the halls.


	5. Chapter 5

A New Friend?

 _ **I don't really know what to say for this part, so here is Chapter 5! (sorry it was a little late)**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM, all belongs to Katsura Hoshino**_

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C _ **hapter 5**_

I now laid in my bed, staring into the darkness once more from a long annoying day of tears and feelings. I didn't like crying in front of my friends, especially like that, so now it was time for a well-deserved rest. I had already had something to eat, my dinner being Potato soup with bacon. Although the treatment was terrible, the food was pretty nice for what it was.

I was nice and full and now I was finally warming up in the sheets. I let a yawn slip between my lips as my eyes stared into the darkness, eventually letting them fall closed. I must have been asleep at least 20 minutes before I woke to the sound of the hatch in my door opening. My eyes slightly opened and looked over, seeing Kanda's eyes looking in.

"You asleep?" He asked me, peaking in,

"I was…" I answered faintly,

"Did I wake you? "

"Yes, but that's okay" I smiled at him and let out a yawn as I stretched my arms over my head and let my legs move in the sheets to stretch out.

Kanda continued to stand outside my door, just silently as I woke myself more. Silence filled the room as my silvery-blue eyes stared at the shadow figure between the rectangle in the door, feeling as if I should stay quiet, and not bother with words. My hands laid on the mattress near my chest, my body turned to lye side ways but I didn't remove myself from the mattress or from my pillow. Eventually, the silence had begun to annoy me and I just had to say something, anything at all!

"U-Um…Kanda?" I stuttered, my voice shaky from my nervousness.

"Hai Moyashi?" (Yes Beansprout?)  
"Allen" I answered with a frown but smiled when Kanda just sighed  
"what is it?"

"Is there something you needed?" I asked.

"I was just checking on you. It's no problem" he told me and then fell silent once more.

I hated that response, so… Dull.

I stood up finally and walked over and stopped at the door, my palms against the wood as my eyes peered into Kanda's "Is checking on me all you were doing? Were you worried about me?" I decided to have some fun and tease him.

"Tch" he clicked his tongue "like I would be worried about a stupid little Moyashi like you" he spat, looking away with his eyebrows furrowed and an irritated expression crossed his face.

"Oh? Then If you aren't worried, then why would you feel the need to check on me? I couldn't possibly hurt myself in here, and the door is locked so I can't get out….I don't see why you would have to check on m-'

I was quickly cut off with an intense stare in by Kanda's eyes. In the candle light, they were beautiful. Such beautiful cobalt eyes looking at me….I couldn't help but become lost in them.  
I noticed Kanda's cheeks turn pink as he stared at me, his expression softening which caught me off guard "Moyashi…." he spoke to me, but this time I didn't correct him; but instead, I snapped out of it and made it known I was listening.

"Yes?"

"Um…When you get out uh…."he trailed off from his sentence. What was he trying to tell me? Why was he suddenly, so docile for? I couldn't help but feel my cheeks warm up as pink dusted my pale flesh

"Never-mind" Kanda began again and then looked away with a bright red face "Good night Moyashi" he said and began to walk off.

That was it? That was all he was going to say to me?!

"Hey! Kanda wait!" I shouted, grabbing the door handle and rattled it to hopefully get him to stop, but it was to no avail "damn it Ba-Kanda!"I shouted down the hall only to be yelled at rudely by a guard to shut the hell up. I let out a huff, looking back into the room and then realized Kanda had left the looking hatch open. Light. I was to have light tonight. I felt a soft smile appear upon my lips and walked back to my bed and lied down, looking at the light around my room. I pulled the blankets up, and let myself doze once more, my body becoming numb to the world around me in peace.

 _"Allen~"_

 _[ Who's there? ]_

 _"Allen, come here~! "_

 _[Go where?]_

 _"Over here" said the voice._

 _[Mana?]_

 _"Welcome home, Son"_

 _[Mana! It's really you?]_

 _"Keep Walking, Allen…..Keep Walking, Until the day….you die"_

 _[MANA!]_

I woke in a cold sweat, my breath ridged and heavy as I stared up at the ceiling above me. "A…dream?" I asked myself and looked around before looking to see the door open up. Kanda was standing there

"come on Moyashi, it's time to go home" he said, a serious look on his face.

It had been a month since Lenalee and Lavi had come to visit me, nightmares coming and going each night causing me to become tired a lot easier. It was restless sleeping for an entire month, so I was constantly falling asleep whenever and wherever I could, but now….Now I get to go home and go to sleep in my own bed. Safe and sound with Timcampy in my blankets, full of my own scent and comfortable bed.

I was dressed and cleaned up and then signed out. I stepped out of the clinic doors and now I stood in the reception office to be face to face with Komui, the chief of the Black Order's European Headquarters. "Komui" I smiled at him, glad to see a familiar face once more.

"How have you been Allen-Kun?" he asked, beginning to lead Kanda and I out of the building. I looked around as I stopped in front of the door. This was it, I was going to see the outside world for the first time in 3 months. I hadn't gone outside this whole time, I hadn't breathed fresh air, or seen the sun or clouds….I was scared to step out. Scared of letting my comrades see my reaction. I knew I missed the outside world, I missed my friends, and the missions and training….I missed Jerry's cooking and travelling around Europe for my assignments. I missed be an Exorcist.

"what's holding you up Moyashi?" Kanda asked, pushing me out the door from my back "come on, let's go" he told. He didn't yell at me, or talk harshly at all; instead he was encouraging, and his tone was soft along with the evenness of his voice. I mentally thanked him for helping me push forward.  
I walked out of the building and squinted my eyes as the sun hit them and then slowly opened them back up to see the world around me.

"Allen-Kun!" I heard Lenalee's voice, looking up to see Lenalee and Lavi there, waiting by the carriage that would take me home "Lavi…Lenalee…"I spoke in surprise as I stared at their smiling faces. I could feel a warmth swell in my chest and a lump in my throat as it spread throughout my body, and then, my eyes found the sky. Even though it was gray with clouds, it was still my blue sky. My eyes watered and I couldn't help but let tears fall as I began to fall forward, caught by Kanda who was right behind me.

"Allen-Kun?" Lenalee called.

"Whoa Al, you okay?" Lavi spoke

My friends rushed to my side, and then hugged me tightly, now completely unable to stop those rushing tears "I'm sorry….I'm okay" I told them softly and stood with their help.

Lavi smirked with a gentle look on his face "Come on Allen, let's go home"

I gave a nod, a small smile on my face as I wiped my tears "right", and we made our way home.

I stared at Kanda almost the entre way home, Kanda staring at me back. For some reason, I felt as if everything was different between us now. Kanda caught me when I fell, when usually, he wouldn't have done anything like that before. It was all, just so strange how different our relationship felt now, I felt closer to him.

 **Kanda's POV**

We sat in the carriage on the way home, listening to the annoying voices of Lenalee Lee and the stupid Usagi. It was so annoying I felt as if I could throw myself out of the damned window- … but something stopped me from doing that. The Moyashi. For some reason, he was staring at me. I didn't know why, but his eyes were soft and larger than normal like I somehow knew the difference. I stared back, wondering if he'd somehow turn away from me, but he didn't. We stared at each other for an hour and a half before I watched his eyes become heavier and heavier and begin to droop. How was it, that the kid I used to loathe to no end, was so cute I wanted to embrace him? Why did my heart beat get faster? Why did my hands get sweaty and why did I feel a small panic? There were so many emotions I couldn't understand, feelings I had never felt before. It was too strange.

I stared longer at the albino for a little longer before glancing to see that red headed idiot staring at me with the most annoying smirk on the planet "what are you staring at?" I questioned, keeping my voice down so I wouldn't disturb the Moyashi's dozing.

"I dunno" the Usagi had whispered "what have YOU been staring at this entire time?"

"I was staring into space" I lied with a huff "got a problem with that?"

"nope…not at all, sorry for saying anything" he said, but kept smirking as he and Lenalee exchanged looks, both smirking and trying not to laugh.

I heard Komui chuckle boldly. Someone apparently wanted to die today "what is it?"

"Kanda-Kun, you take things too seriously. Relax, you don't have to guard Allen right now" he explained

Not guard Moyashi? How could I stop doing that? The brat had been my responsibility for 3 whole months and he wants me to just stop? Granted, Moyashi was no longer my responsibility due to now being in the care of the Order, but still….. I felt uneasy.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I stated and then leaned back and stared outside the window, no longer wanting to engage in the conversation, and luckily they picked up on that. My eyes wandered to the now fast asleep Moyashi. His head was tilted down and tilted to the side against the wall to the carriage, his hands between his thighs as a peaceful but tired expression laid upon his face. He seemed to be doing this a lot lately, which meant he was having a hard time getting to sleep. Didn't I give him enough light? It should've helped him with that fear of the dark, so why wasn't he sleeping properly? Wait- what was I thinking?! Why would I care about the Moyashi?! Hell if I care if he gets enough sleep throughout the night! It's his own damn fault!

As I finished my train of thought, our carriage slowed down to stop in front of the Order. I looked to the door and stood, kicking the door open before the guard could open for us "Out of my damned way!" I shouted, giving my given password and then made my way inside to hide.

 **Allen's POV**

I suddenly woke to the sound of a bang, my eyes opening and looking in the direction it came from. I was so startled I could feel my heart thumping hard but fast in my chest.

"Allen-Kun, we're home" Lenalee smiled at me and took my hand gently, and helped me out. I stepped out with her with a small smile and looked around a moment before walking with her to the door. She and I gave our given passwords and then walked in before Lavi and Komui. I looked around as we entered and smiled as I saw the familiar building structures, this was it. I was finally home!

* * *

 _ **Sorry for getting it out so late, I was in this slump from my Roleplays and angst emotions but here it is! Haha, I hope you guys enjoyed!**_

 _ **Okay guys! Time to cut this chapter! Tell me what you'd like to read in the next chapter! I've sorta got a nice idea of what I want! How about it? A little Kanda POV next Chapter? Will Kanda ever figure out why he feels such a feeling or will he**_ _ **bury**_ _ **it deep inside? You'll have to read more to find out! 3**_

 _ **I'd like to say thank you to those who have continued to read my fan fiction and given such amazing and positive feedback. I feel SO happy every time I see comments from you guys, you are Awesome!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**The Burning Lotus**

 **Okay, so this Chapter is going to be in Kanda's perspective instead of Allen's and maybe even the next chapter if you guys are liking Kanda's perspective.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM , all rights go to Hoshino Katsura (Hoshino-Sensei)**

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It had been a long and annoying 3 months with the Moyashi, listening to him cry and groan about how he wanted to go back home and see his friends; but other times I thought of him as less annoying. It's strange to describe but I felt it, I just don't know what it is I felt. Am I sick?

My stomach hurts.

I ran to my room as fast as I could, even pushing some Finders down. Once I reached my bedrom, I ran in and quickly closed the door behind me and locked it. Heavy breaths were now inhaling and exhaling through my lungs as I was short on breath, feeling the burning sensation inside them. I had been in that place with Moyashi as a caretaker because I was someone who he knew and was apparently close with (whatever that means). So, I had to share a room with other people who were also there as personal caretakers, which I wasn't used to because I always had my own room. I was happy to be in my room.

I let my eyes look around my bedroom, it all being empty except the bed I slept on, a desk and chair, watcher pitcher and then my Lotus sitting in a hourglass on top of the desk. I walked over to my bed and stripped off my coat and then kicked off my shoes. I was so tired I couldn't stand to see another person's face, especially that damned Usagi who'd so obviously teased me for watching over Moyashi while he slept.

I removed the rest of my clothes before I lied down on my pillow and pulled the sheets over my half naked body. I stared at the wall in front of me as I faced it, staring in silence before I closed my eyes for a well-deserved sleep.

 **Allen's POV**

I was escorted inside The Black Order, looking around before we went to Komui's examining room. Lenalee lead me as Lavi and Komui walked behind and I couldn't help but wave to some of my friends who I ran into on the way there, like Johnny and Miranda. I was soon taken into the room and was told to sit on the examining table and I did as instructed. I hoisted myself up on the metal table and then watched as Komui came over and smiled before he shined a small light into my eyes. I could feel my pupils get smaller as they reacted, looking at Komui and not directly into the light. It hurt too much to stare. After that, he checked a few other things that seemed like a normal checkup if you went to the doctor's office. I soon looked to Komui curiously "what is all of this for?" I decided I would ask.

"These are for updating your health and you seem to be doing a little better, though for your age you are still underweight" he told.

"How so?"

"Well, let's not point onto the matter of your height and weight. But for the most part, you are pretty healthy except for lack of Iron" he told me.

"Iron?" I asked, quite confused. I was apparently an idiot because everyone was staring at me like I was some alien. Of course I didn't what he meant by Iron. I hadn't had a day of school in my life, I'd never been educated on Iron or other minarals. I hardly knew how to read, but it wasn't exactly the greatest feeling of Lenalee and Lavi staring at me, wondering how I could not have not known what the scientist was talking about.

"It means the Iron in your blood is low" Komui kindly explained without being mean about it or belittling me.

"Oh I see, so there is Iron in blood and I am low on it. So that's why blood tastes like rusty metal?"

"Indeed" Komui happily pat my head like he was praising me for getting it right. He let out a sharp sigh and then smiled kindly to me again"alright Allen-Kun, how do you feel? Any better than when you went in?". He was speaking of my depression, lack of suicidal thoughts or urges to hurt myself right?

"uh…I guess I feel a lot less depressed" I told him, touching my chest "It's not as heavy…it's almost like, there's nothing there. Light I guess?" I said, a little confused by the feeling. I wasn't used to feeling so light hearted. I lived all of my life with a heavy chest, swarming thoughts of discouraging words, even when I was much younger. Only when I was with Mana was when everything would lighten up, it getting a little easier to breathe when he made me laugh, or when he got me to smile. I thought about Mana now, not hearing the Scientist calling my name. I looked up as I snapped out of my memories with Mana and smiled.

Komui only chuckled gently when he got my attention once more"I see. Well then it looks like the rehab mostly worked. If you ever start to feel down or upset I want you to go to Kanda-Kun to talk about it" he instructed.

"Kanda? Why do I have to go to someone like him?" I felt slightly ticked that I was being instructed to talk to Kanda about how I was feeling. Sure, I spoke a lot to Kanda durring those 3 months in the rehab but I wasn't used to speaking about my emotions.

"because he is the one you spoke to all 3 months, so talking to him seems to work better for you" he explained "now go on and get some rest and settle back in. Your room has been cleaned up and everything broken was replaced" he smiled.

I gave him a nod with a faint sigh and pushed myself off the table, glancing around at the equipment for a moment before beginning to make my way to my room.

 **Kanda's POV**

 _"Kanda…"_

 _[Moyashi?]_

 _"haha, why do you call me such a silly name?"_

 _[Because you are small…frail and white…Just like a Moyashi]_

 _"I see then" He smiled gently at me, a soft look in his eyes._

 _[Moyashi, where are we?]_

 _"we're in the forest"_

 _[but why?]_

 _"because….I wanted to say something to you…"_

 _[To me? Why?]_

 _"Because I care about you, Kanda" he then leaned in to my face, eyes closing, lips puckering slightly._

I gasped as I woke from my sleep, staring up at the ceiling. I wasn't scared but, it definitely startled me. What was Moyashi going to do to me? It seemed almost like, a kiss. I touched my lips slightly before sitting up my eyes finding their way to to window to see it was getting late and I had accomplished nothing today. It was dark in my bedroom, only the moonlight shining through the colored and cracked window pane to make a small glow. I stood up from bed and put my clothes back on, grabbing Mugen before heading out. As I stepped out, I ran into someone unexpected and knocked him down. It was the Moyashi.

I watched as the young albino winced on the cement floors. Huffing, I held my hand out to him "watch where you are going" I scolded.

"ah, K-K-Kanda" he stuttered, looking up at me before taking my hand with slight hesitation. I wasn't going to bite - not yet at least.

"Moyashi," I began, staring at the now flustered red teenager in front of my eyes "tell me where you are going".

"Ah, well I was heading to get some food. I'm starving and I missed Jeryy's food so…"he strayed off as he averted his gaze away from me.

I let out a small but dragged sigh, looking around as if I had an audience "alright, well….let's go then" I began to walk ahead of him slightly, my eyes glancing back to watch him follow me. He had such a sparkle in his eyes, it made me sick but it also, brought me another strange feeling I couldn't explain. Was this Happiness?

On the way towards the cafeteria, silence had filled the space between us as I kept a few feet in front of him, not wanitng to make eye contact or conversation. As I walked, my brain began to wander to strange thoughts, like his height. This kid was pretty small even though he had just had a growth spurt, was he really British? I heard that the English were pretty tall people, but Moyashi seemed lacking especially since he was Sixteen now.

I let the train of thought stop as I heard Moyashi begin to speak

"Kanda are you okay? You are pretty quiet" his expression was concerned as he looked up at me, is way of speaking formal as always.

"I'm fine Moyashi. I'm always this quiet and it's not your business" I huffed, my eyes closing momentarily as I crossed my arms.

"Wel, you used to be quiet….but these last 3 months, you were very talkative"he decided to inform me.

Was I? I hadn't noticed this until now but, I usually carried the conversations in the rehab center with him. I carried all of them, talking, smirking, even showing some smiles or maybe a laugh. I hadn't noticed I had enjoyed that time with him until now. It was a bit embarrassing now as I thought about it. I had shown him sides of me I had tried my hardest to hide for 9 years until now. The only other people that knew that side of me was, Master, Marie and Lavi.

"Kanda? How do I raise my Iron?" He suddenly asked me out of the blue. I turned to look back at him, stopping in my tracks and thought a moment before replying "red meat. Maybe even some Green veggies. But mostly red meat" I stated, knowing he must be talking about the Iron in his blood- but now that he mentioned it, he did look paler than usual, thinner too.

"Red meat...right…"he gave me a nod of agreement and followed me, to the dinning hall. I got my soba as always and Moyashi got a big cart full of red meats of all different styles, it was actually a little surprising to see how much he was really going to eat. I'd get sick if I ate that much.

After our dinner, Moyashi was staring at me and I found myself staring back at him "may I help you?"I asked him, my tone sounding a bit annoyed. He simply gave me a nod, telling me he needed something.

"Yes"he started "have you ever had, strange dreams?" he asked me with a quiet tone, hesitaton hidden in his voice.

"Strange dreams?" I stared at him, intrigued by what he was talking about "what kind of strange dreams?"I asked him, wondering if he had a bad dream, or...something more pubecent.

"Like, dreams were- certain people you know-say strange things and-do odd things they normally would not do."his face was noticeably pink now and his eyes were averted from me. I knew this emotion, it was, shyness? I had felt this feeling many times, but, mostly when I spoke to people because I wasn't that great with communication or pronunciations with the English vocabulary, so I didn't like speaking too often.

"Well," I thought on the question the young albino asked and the dream I had earlier popped into my head "I suppose I have" I continued, staring at this hopeful look in his stupid cloudy blue eyes and the red scar down his face that drew your attention in.

"really!?" he shouted, leaning in excitedly "who was it about!?"

"ah, no comment" I answered. I was _not_ ready to go down that road. Not this time. I wasn't about to tell Moyashi that the dream I had was about him, saying strange things and doing strange things he'd never done before. As I thought about that dream, I could feel my chest get heavier and an uneasy feeling grow in my stomach which seemed to spread to the back of my head. Anxiety. Why was I so afraid now? Why was afraid of what Moyashi thought of me? …..Would his expression towards me change? Would his opinions of me change? I didn't want, this relationship to change. That's right, I didn't want Moyashi and I's relationship to change, at least, not yet. We'd gotten noticeably close over the last few months, so much that other's stare at us like we were strange.

"ah,"I snapped out of my train of thought and looked back to the Moyashi when I heard the gasp

"What?"

"I burned my tongue" he said, reaching his two fingers into his mouth and gripped at his scorched tongue.

I stared at the fingers in his mouth, noticing the amount of saliva beginning to build up on his fingers from his body reacting to the pain in his mouth. I couldn't help but blush a bit as he rubbed his index finger against the pink flesh

"amn, hat reawy hurth "he winced, glancing up at me and blinked as he noticed me staring "what?" he pulled his fingers off his tongue and stared curiously.

I looked away "nothing…."was all I could answer. This was awkward. Sitting here, talking to the Moyashi and having conversations so laid back. It made me a little upset that I was sitting here relaxing when our world was under attack by Earl. I quickly began to clean up my dishes and then stood up "don't use cold water on burns. It hurts more" I informed, sighing.

"then what do I use?" he asked me innocently. What a dumb question.

"warm water" and I was on my way back to my room after returning my dishes to Jeryy. I arrived back to my bedroom and closed the door. I let out a soft sigh, leaning against the door as I set Mugen down against it. I was worn out, but not because I didn't sleep enough or I was actually tired….but socializing so much was stressful and draining. I let out a long yawn, but I was no where ready to sleep.

I pushed off the dark oak wood door and walked to my desk. I sit on my desk chair and sighed softly, my eyes finding the lotus hourglass that sat there. I stared at it as it glowed that pink light on the wall against it and now against my face and reflecting in my eyes. "Alma..."I whispered to myself, looking down a little "That's right, that woman. I don't have the time to play around anymore. I have to focus"I thought, getting back up. I grabbed a book from my small wall bookshelf and then crawled back in bed. I leaned my back against the cold wall behind me and read myself to sleep.

 **ALLEN'S POV**

It was a little strange when Kanda had decided to leave in the middle of a conversation, but I suppose Kanda was never really good at knowing when was a good time to leave or not. Kanda was socially awkward and had a hard time communicating with others and understanding other's emotions or reading facial expressions. Even though I know this, Kanda is just too fun to tease, it made my day.

It was about 2 months since I arrived back home. It was hard to get back into the ring of things, getting back into the habits I had before, like only sleeping a decent amount, training and getting my eating shedule back on track. Although it took a while, I even got my eating habits back, taking it a little at a time before my stomach accepted as much as it used to. I had practically been starved while in rehab, only getting a single serving 3 times a day and then back off to te dark room I went. I was appreachiated being able to be out of my room, being with my friends and smiling and enjoying their company again...but I had missed so much, and I had missed all of them, but something was off. I didn't feel as welcome anymore, and I felt like I was being even more judged than what I thought it had been before. I had cut, I had made a scene and scared them all with the news of my sudden sending to rehab...they must think I'm crazy for sure.

I was in the training hall once again after my nap, which was taken right after Lunch to let my stomach settle and calm before a work out. I knew that I'd gain weight that way, but Komui was talking about how I was way under weight, more under weight than I had been before even going to rehab. I had been 123 pounds originally, but now I was a solid 115. I had lost so much that my bones were easily seen, my ribs poking out from the training shirt I wore.

I was working on the bars, doing pull ups before my eye caught Kanda. I gasped with a faint blush, falling off the bar and hit my chin against the metal as I fell to the floor. I groaned as Krory ran over

"Allen, are you alright!?" his voice laced with worry as he helped my up

"y-yeah..."I could feel the sing on my skin, it feeling like pins and needles against my jaw bone. I snapped out of the pain and looked around to see Kanda staring at me with curiosity. I stared back, blushing faintly as I stood there, unable to hear my friend asking if I was really okay. I took a step to walk to Kanda, my eyes locked on him like I was in some kind of trance but it was broken when Marie stepped in front of me. "ah..."I noised, looking up at him.

"Allen, are you okay? You aren't responding"

"Ah, Y-yes, I'm alright" I answered, trying to look around to the blind man for Kanda, but he was gone. Figures. I hadn't been seeing much of Kanda lately. He was going on more assignments more and more, talking to everyone less. It was like he was avoiding me. Had I done something to him? I couldn't have, I have only said a few words a little at a time between seeing him.

I turned back to my friends and smiled a little "I swear I'm okay guys. I just lost my balance. I saw Kanda" I informed them "it just caught me off guard that he came to meditate"

Marie smiled a little "ah, yes Kanda. I spoke to him just a moment ago"

I turned to the larger male "R-Really!? What did you talk about?"

"something about being tired. He hasn't been feeling well lately strange enough"

"does Kanda get sick?"I asked curiously. I knew Kanda was a 2nd Generation exorcist, but did they actually get sick from natural causes? I mean, surely they are artifical humans, but I just wonder if that's where the human part comes in.

"He gets sick once in a while if he heals too many time. It begins to toll stress on his body, bring down his immunity to sickness"Marie informed me "why are you so curious?"he asked.

"It's just...I hadn't gotten to start a fight with him recently..."i lied. I wanted to talk to Kanda. I wanted to see him. I really wasn't sure why, but I was beginning to get very strange dreams about Kanda. Dreams where he was holding me in his arms, comforting me, protecting me, whispering sweet words to me to help cheer me up if I had a bad day before sleeping. Before I knew it, my heart was skipping beats and I was beginning to look forward to seeing more dreams of him. He was, beginning to become someone I wanted close by me. I just, didn't know what to think about that feeling.

"you're easy to read, Allen" Marie said softly, smiling at me knowingly "go to him. He won't turn you away. Not this time. He really, isn't feeling well at all"

"What kind of unwell?"

"fevers, headaches, stuffy noses...common symptoms of a cold"he explained to me, sighing softly "he shouldn't be contagious though, which is the up part of his sicknesses. I just sent him off to his room, so he should be there now"

"thanks Marie"I smiled happily, running off to the samurai's room.

As I arrived to the room, I noticed how quiet it was in the halls, up until I heard a harsh but muffled coughing in a room. I looked towards the direction of the door I was in front of and frowned a little 'that sounds like a nasty cough...'I thought, knocking on the door. "Kanda!"I called, waiting for the male to open the door.

The raven haired samurai jingled the door a moment and then opened the door slightly, peaking out with a tired look as he hid his body and face "Moyashi? What do you want? I'm busy"

"Please let me in Kanda...you're sick"

Kanda stared down at me, giving a sharp glare, thinking if he really should let me in and finally sighed. He opened the door up and let me in. He stood there, his hair pulled back into a messy bun with a few strangs of his longer bangs hanging on the sides of his face. He wore lazy pajamas, an old tank top and a pair of grey sweat pants "get in or I am changing my mind"he said, coughing as he held his chest slightly, irritated as he gave a soft breath.

I nodded, entering the room with a worried expression. That really was a dreadful cough.

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 **Okay guys! That's the end of Chapter 6! I am SOOOO sorry it took so long for me to update it. I got lazy and then life happened, lol but I will try my best to keep up the chapters!**

 **I want to thank those who have begun to follow he story and give me reviews! It's all appreachiated and I love hearing the feedback! Thank you so much for the encouraging worsds, it makes me want to continue writing and become a better writer. *^***

 **So now Kanda is sick. So let's have a vote for what should happen in the next Chapter:**

 **1\. Allen decides he should confess his growing feelings towards Kanda**

 **2\. Kanda should start to figure out that he REALLY likes Allen in a talk with Lavi**

 **3\. They both get drunk and maybe some M-Preg mistakes are made. You, the readers will decide! Please review below your vote. 1,2 or 3! :D I can't wait to hear from you and to write the mos popular!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Alright guys we went with Number 2! It seemed to be the most popular vote so here you guys go! :D Please enjoy! (sorry it took so long. I was in a writers block)

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM , all characters/ story line belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

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I walked into Kanda's room as he let me, staring at the messy and lazy attire Kanda wore. Usually the samurai wore something tight fitting, something that covered his body properly, but here he was wearing sweat pants and a baggy T-Shirt with a few holes near the bottom seems on the torso. I stared the other's sick features, noticing the dark circles and just how pale the male got. He looked miserable.

I watched as Kanda closed the door and then walked to his bed, dropping his weight onto it as he belly flopped "oof" he sounded at the impact, pulling his legs up as he was careful of the package in his pants. "what brought you here, Moyashi?" he mumbled, tiredly pulling his grey blanket up over is shoulders.

I walked over, sitting myself on the extremely soft mattress. I blinked at the feeling under myself, gently bouncing against it "hey! How come your bed is more comfortable than mine!?"I asked, my voice raising from just how unfair it was.

"because I have been here longer and I've got bad back problems. Komui gave it to me for my 16th birthday, so keep your voice down Mo-Ya-Shi" he grumbled, his hands over his forehead in pain.

I frowned a little at the pain he was in and the name that was used. Only this once would I let this slide because he was sick. "have you been drinking any water?"

"Water? What would that do?" he asked me, staring at me like I'd lost my mind.

"It helps headaches and usually, when you get a fever you are supposed to drink water" I informed, but I only learned this after asking the nurse out of curiosity. "you should rest, sleep will make you feel better"

"mnn, "he hummed, closing his eyes "that's what I was doing before you got here. Sleeping. And I don't need damned water to make me feel better".

I let out a sigh and sat there on the bed, watching as the Samurai stared at me. I crawled onto the bed and leaned on the wall, staying at the end of the bed so Kanda had wiggle room for his legs "If you need anything, I'll get it for you". My voice was soft, watching the other's eyes suddenly droop to the sound of my tone. Kanda was strangely, cute? Kanda had the blanket up to his chin, his eyes only seen from peaking behind the fabric and they were all sleepy and droopy, easily lulled by just the volume of my voice. I couldn't believe how vulnerable he was currently. I let a soft smile creep along my lips as I watched Kanda's eyes close, soon enough hearing his breathing soften and seeing his chest rise and fall in a slower pace.

Kanda was sick for two whole days. He had horrible fevers, coughs, shivering sweats and at one point vomiting, but of course, I took care of him. Kanda wasn't exactly "Happy" I'd taken care of him, but I was glad I did. Maybe I really had to see Kanda more, human-like in misery to notice that he really had emotions. There were a few times, Kanda just broke down from how miserable he felt, just bursting into tears but would only just shove his face in a blanket or pillow so I couldn't see them. I wasn't allowed to mention a word about it, or-…. well the consequences are what you could imagine.

I nursed Kanda back to health, his healing abilities restoring and he was in better shape within another full day. I was proud of myself, especially when I got to witness Kanda's skin come back to a healthy color after making him chicken soup. I, strangle had fun, even if Kanda was distant, but we had interesting conversations too. Talking about, the weather, or how Lavi was annoying, or the books Kanda liked to read. He loved plants, more than I thought he did. Kanda had told me that he had a dream to be a Gardener. He knew so many things about plants, flowers and even insects that could be good and bad for the plants. It tickled my interest to watch him light up and show more expressions than just that sulking dark glare he gave everyone. It was worth my time.

* * *

I was currently now eating my food in the dining hall like I did every Afternoon for lunch. I had myself a few subs, a glass of Lemonade and a few sweet treats to keep me satisfied until later. I was currently sat with my two best friends Lenalee Lee and Lavi Bookman Jr, talking about little things as they tried to make me smile. Lavi was currently going on about the girl he'd laid eyes on, on his last assignment, so Lenalee and I were just smiling and nodding as if we really cared. As we spoke, I looked to see Kanda in the corner of my eye coming back from training, only this time, something was different about him. He wore his hair down and he was covered in a slight glisten of sweat from his training. I watched him interact with Jerry, getting his food.

"Allen?" Lenalee asked as she noticed I wasn't paying attention. Both of my friends then looked towards where I was staring and looked to each other with a small smirk on their faces. They motioned Kanda over, getting the man to sit there next to me. I felt my heart race, looking to the man beside me as he pulled his hair back into a bun and locked it in with a chopstick. "Moyashi" he acknowledged me and then grunted towards the other two, making me feel quite special. I smiled a little "H-Hi Kanda…"I greeted and blushed a small bit.

I was noticing how my heart began racing when I was around him, how I seemed to love the man's beautiful features before me. Although Kanda looked feminine, I loved how manly he looked in his structures; just the perfect amount of it to pull his whole demeanor together.

I watched Kanda eat for a while in the corner of my eye, my eyes soon pushing off to look to my friends who were trying not to stare at me but not stare at Kanda either. At that moment, I knew their thoughts were up to no good.

"What?" I asked them, with the intent of an interrogation.

"Nothing..."Lavi immediately answered. Of course, he did.

Lenalee though took a moment to think "I was just thinking how you and Kanda don't fight as often! "she chimed, trying to be cute but the look on Kanda and I's face were almost laughable.

We turned to look at each other with horrified expressions (mine of course fake to act normal in front of them). I had already known the changes Kanda and I were going through, the closeness of it all. Though I knew, it seemed like Kanda didn't even have a clue... or he was a good actor (which I doubt). Kanda and I turned back to our friends and I shook my head "I don't think so! Kanda and I fight all the time! Right?" I looked to the samurai, but all I got was a grunt of agreement with his arms crossed in front of his chest. It was better than nothing.

I smiled to my friends "you guys are crazy"

"really are" Kanda rolled his eyes and went back to eating his usual Soba.

Lenalee and Lavi laughed out, finding it quite amusing but I was confused as to why. I thought I was a pretty good actor up until now. I'd lied my way through my entire life when it came to several situations. Stealing, witnessing someone stealing, hiding things, hiding my emotions and lying when I was fine even when I wasn't.

As I sat there with my friends, I became silent. My head pointed down and I must have had a pretty serious expression on my face because Lenalee had touched my arm with a worried expression, drawing me out of thought. I had been thinking of Kanda and I…. Things were definitely different, and I was seeing that I wasn't the only one thinking so. Even Lenalee and Lavi were noticing something was different between us.

"Are you okay Allen-Kun? You look upset…"

"ah! No I must just be tired!" I said happily, finishing up my food. As I got my last bite, a Finder showed up behind me and poked my back,

"Hey Allen, Report to Komui. He has an assignment for you" was what he told me. I stood up from my seat and looked to the others "I guess I should go then. Good luck guys!" I said and was on my way, waving to them as I walked.

After I spoke to Komui, I was on my way to my room. I blushed brightly as I thought of Kanda suddenly, but quickly shook my head to get rid of it. Kanda…. why was it always him I thought about when I needed to focus on something? I was about to reach my room before I felt my arm grabbed and before I knew it a pain twinge through the back of my head as I was pinned to the wall. I let out a grunt, opening my eyes to see Kanda standing up above me. Was I dreaming?! Was Kanda really pinning me against the wall!?

I stared up at him as he stared down at me, a dark blush on his cheeks as his cobalt eyes pierced into my blue ones. He had a look of slight pain on his face, but I had no clue as to why he'd make such an expression. Kanda leaned in close, I could feel his breath against my face, it was a little heavy. Why was it so heavy? Why couldn't I speak? "Ka- ..."was the only thing I could choke out. It was like my body was failing me the moment Kanda's chest pressed against mine

"Why?.Why do you make me like this?" his voice was slightly breathless but in a hush tone. Did I make Kanda this way? I watched as his face became a dark red, my own breath slightly hitching in my throat as his face came closer. I swore, something would've happened if Lenalee hadn't been walking down the hall towards us. Kanda quickly turned away from me, looking to the side and gave that scowl everyone knew so much, like nothing even happened. I stood there in shock. I couldn't wrap my head around the intensity of that moment. Had Kanda just tried to kiss me?

Lenalee gave us a smile "Hello Allen-Kun, Kanda" she said joyfully and stopped in front of us. I stuttered, still nervous and in shock. I had forgotten how to speak and I just couldn't form the words I was meant to. It must've sounded like gibberish, I don't even know what I said. All I know is that Kanda was staring at me and Lenalee had a confused look on her face, but she began giggling.

"did something happen?" was what she asked but I quickly shook my head and glanced to Kanda.

Kanda simply looked to her "nothing at all…"was what he muttered before giving a long hard glance and me and walked off, a bright blush on his face when he turned away. I could see it had spread to his ears, so I could specifically tell he didn't quite understand what had happened either.

I let out a sigh and slid down the wall into a sitting position, my head now in my hands as a slight relief came over my nervousness. I didn't understand. Why was my heart beating so loudly? Did I really enjoy it that much? I almost feel…. Disappointed. I had looked forward to, kissing Kanda.

"are you sure you are okay, Allen-Kun?" she asked, crotched down in front of me with her legs together so I couldn't see under her skirt.

"ah, y-yes…sorry. I, err…. Just saw a spider and freaked out…"I replied, having to lie to her. No way in hell could I tell anyone Kanda just tried to kiss me! Lenalee seemed confused after my "explanation" but simply giggled it off as if I were silly

"a spider? Was that really why you were so freaked out?" she asked with a laugh "where is it? I can kill it for you!" she offered me, but I knew she wouldn't have killed it anyway. Lenalee and I both feared spiders, killing those were Lavi's job.

 **KANDA'S POV**

I ran down the hallway of the corridors the moment Moyashi was clear from my sight. Why had I done that? What was this, feeling that had taken control of me? Moyashi, he was just walking but the moment I saw him it was like I couldn't control myself. I wanted to grab him, I wanted those eyes to look at me. Before I knew it, I had pinned him against the wall and- and…I don't know what I was trying to do! I don't understand my own actions! I should stay away for a while. I could be ill….

I walked towards my room and walked in and closed the door behind me. He leaned back against the closed door and let out a heavy sigh. Why was I so out of breath? I've ran before, and I'm hardly ever winded; so why is it different this time? Then again, my breath was a bit heavier when I was with Moyashi too. Perhaps another fever? The only person I could possibly talk to about this would be…. Ché, Lavi. That damned rabbit wouldn't know what I would be talking about would he? He'd probably just tease me or judge me for what I've done to Moyashi. I couldn't possible tell him. NEVER! Never in a MILLION years! Nope!

 **ALLEN'S POV**

I walked into my eventually and walked to my closet. I was still recovering from the last encounter with Kanda. I pulled out my suitcase and laid it out on the bed and began to pack. I put on my uniform and began to prepare for my mission "A mission with Lenalee…" I mumbled softly and got everything I needed and closed the lid an and locked it up. I then put on my uniform boots and slid my dress shoes under the bed like I always did. I grabbed my bag and made one last look at my bedroom. This wasn't my first mission since my arrival, but it still made me wonder, if one day I wouldn't be able to return to this room. It made me wonder if, the cold feeling would return to me when I die, just like it did when Tyki did- … That. I shook the thought from my head and left my room, closing the door and locked it behind me with my key before shoving it into my pocket. I couldn't be thinking about such things at a time like this. I couldn't let stupid things like that effect my mission or get in the way of my concentration.

I walked down the corridors and met up with Lenalee by the Gondola underground. She was waiting there patiently on the boat, standing there in her uniform. Lenalee was adorable, she always was yes but, for some reason, I just didn't have a thing for her. Lenalee was a close friend and even if Lavi told me many times of how she felt, I knew that she just wasn't for me. Lenalee was indeed someone I treasured, but I saw her more as a sister- that and Komui would kill me if I were to touch a single hair on her head.

I smiled at the female in front of me, that flashy kind smile I always loved to give off "Hello Lenalee, Good Afternoon" I greeted, climbing onto the small boat with her.

"Good Afternoon, Allen-Kun! All packed up?" She asked me kindly.

"ah, yes. Thank you for coming to Spain with me. This mission is is going to take me a while all by myself"

"No problem! I'm happy to help!" She exclaimed "shall we go?".

"Yes. We shall" I said, looking to the Finder "onwards please...".

 **KANDA'S POV**

I sat there on my bed, sulking almost as I began to day dream. I'd taken my coat off and threw it to the far side to the bed, now sitting there in a white button up shirt, the collar unbuttoned by two buttons. I sat there, thinking about what had happened between the small Albino and I. My entire face heated up, still feeling the heat of the other's body against my skin, still seeing those cloudy blue eyes staring up at me with concern. Why was I feeling this way? Why had I done such a thing? Pin him against the wall? I wasn't angry at him nor was I irritated. So why? I shook my head, standing up and began to pace around the small room I called my own, my boots making a faint click as they hit the ground. I just couldn't wrap my head around this feeling. My heart was racing and my hands were sweating, feeling as if I were irritable. There was only one thing I could really think of doing "Usagi…". The dumb rabbit would know what the hell I was feeling right?

I'd known Lavi for Five years now. He'd been by my side, teasing, talking to me, making comments and jokes and even explaining emotions I didn't understand in pure detail. How he managed to nail it all on the doubt beats me but I suppose he is a Bookman heir for a reason. I sighed and looked towards the old and slightly chipped wooden door that separated me from the real world and headed over towards it. I put my hand on the handle and opened it and walked out. I then began my quest to the library, walking down countless halls to get around the large castle we were now calling "Home". Sometimes, I wondered sometimes why I even called it home. I hated this place more than anything, more than any person I could possibly hate. The order has been nothing but cruel, terrible and manipulative, corrupted. I wish I could just leave, I wish I could just escape but- Innocence would never allow me to do something so reckless. That, is the only reason I stay….at least, that was what I thought-.

I made my way into the library to find Lavi sitting in a chair with his feet propped up on a table, a book in his face. I quickly grabbed the book from his hand and threw it behind me, grabbing the younger by his collar "We need to talk…"I grumbled.

Lavi stared up at me with his one green eye, surprised by my action but did I really care? I needed help and fast. "Y-Yeah sure Yu". That cursed name! I growled at him "stop calling me that!" I shouted but was immediately shushed by other's that sat around us within the large room of books. I grumbled as I felt my anger boil more 'how dare they shush me!? I'll rip them to shreds!' was what I thought before Lavi took my hand and lead me into a more private area of the library. It was secluded where no one currently roamed, so I suspected it was a good place to talk in private without feeling the shame of someone listening in.

"now, what did you need to talk to me about?" he gave me a smirk as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against a table with a curious look.

I let out a heavy sigh, taking a moment to collect my thoughts and sat down next to him at the table "I think I am ill" I told him, looking in that peering green eye.

"Ill? How do you suppose you are sick?"

"well…. I keep getting this heated feeling in my chest and my hands keep sweating….It's like, my head becomes dizzy and I can't really think like I normally do"

"how do you mean? Like, you lose balance? You faint?"

"no. I just, get this dizzy haze and I can't think of anything. It's like I lose control over my actions or what my body does"

"huh….is there a specific trigger or is it just at random?"

"I suppose there is a trigger" I sighed, rubbing my head. How was I supposed to tell Lavi my trigger was the young teen? How was I supposed to tell him that the Moyashi made my heart race?

"okay well, please tell me then so I can make a hypothesis "

"It only happens when I am around Moyashi…"

"ALLEN!?" he asked brightly and I felt my face heat up "SHH!"I shushed, grabbing him and wrapped my hand over his lips to shut him up. I didn't want Lavi to cause a scene, not right when we had found such a perfect place to talk.

He removed my hand and stared at me "okay, so you get this feeling around Allen huh? Okay, well have you ever thought that you aren't sick?"

"Ha?"

"Well…"he trailed a moment "these symptoms don't sound like an illness Yu. Perhaps what you are feeling is…something a lot more different than what you think" I wanted to smack the smirk off his face.

"what do you mean something different? Am I sick or not?"

"not!" he grinned happily and leaned in close "you're in Love"

"What? L-Love? I don't know the meaning..."

"oh, but you know that isn't true Yu. You've experienced Love many times, you just haven't been able to identify it as such but it's always been there. Maybe not always with Allen, but for people who are around you. I'm sure you care about Lena' right? "

"well that's a given" I let out a sigh, thinking back to when I'd protect her from that damned mustached Inspector. Letting her hide with me whenever she tried to escape from him. I soon looked back up at the red head "but why would I be in love with the Moyashi? He urks me!"

"Well, maybe that's why he urks you. You like him and he doesn't notice it" he said and chuckled softly "besides, he makes your heart race, right? You should tell him how you feel"

After that talk, if felt like an eternity of just sitting in my room. Moyashi had gone out on a mission with Lenalee which gave me some time to think about what Lavi had told me. "In love? Me? How could I possibly love him?"

[You care about him, don't you?]

I clicked my tongue at this and closed my eyes, lying down to rest.

It was about 2 weeks until Moyashi returned. It felt like forever, constantly going about my day full of anxiety. The more I thought about him, the more it all made sense. Everything that Lavi had told me had begun to fall into place, it began to make so much sense.

I finally left my room and began walking. Moyashi had finally returned home, so I was wondering if I maybe circled around, I'd run into him. I had heard he'd gotten injured, but Lenalee and Lavi made it sound like it was nothing so I wasn't worried.

 **ALLEN'S POV**

I was currently in the dining hall, bandages around my head from the head trauma I had received. I had a very intimated moment with a cement wall when I had gotten smacked in battle, so I don't remember very well what had happened due to my injury. I was sitting and eating my meal, having many dishes but my favorite now seemed to be potato soup. I was about to go ahead and be done before suddenly Kanda caught my eyes as he walked in. I sat up and wore a faint blush as I remembered what had happened in the hall just before I had left "uh…"I noised, watching as Kanda's eyes locked with mine.

I got flustered as I rose from my seat and began running in the opposite direction where the Samurai was. I didn't understand. Why was I running? Did I fear Kanda? Or did I fear of the actions we'd encountered with one another two weeks before? I didn't understand why my heart was beating so fast, why I got so nervous, but I could only expect it to be love if I went to Lavi. I'd always kind of liked Kanda. He was always so cool, both with his power and his personality. There was more to him than that stubborn attitude and those deathly glares and death threats, there had to be more!

"Moyashi!" I'd heard from Kanda, looking behind me to see he'd begun to chase me. Had he been looking for me? Well, if he had I wasn't going to talk to him in the dining hall of all places, not in front of all those people. They'd surely be surprised if they were to see Kanda and I getting along even in the slightest; I can't even imagine how many times him and I had damaged the dining hall without fights

Eventually I was running out of breath and halls to run down, so I ran into an abandoned room and hid there. I was hoping to lose Kanda, as I just wasn't ready to face him yet and hid myself behind one of the white sheeted couches. I crouched down, hoping my white hair would blend in with it. Shortly after I hid, I heard the heavy steps of the other rush in and then come to a quick stop.

"Moyashi?" I heard him breathlessly call me. Why was he trying to so hard? Why did he need to see me so bad? Granted, I could have bolted off to my room (it had a lock) but Kanda could easily break down the door. I had to hide another way.

"Moyashi I just want to talk. Why did you run...is it because of what happened in the hall that time?"

I felt my heartbeat beat faster as I thought of the event, shaking my head slightly as I stayed behind the couch. I pushed my left hand against my lips and squeezed so my breath would be quieter. I didn't want to be found. Not yet.

* * *

 **Let's have a new vote! :D ( i love hearing from you guys)**

1\. **Kanda and Allen try dating**

2\. **Allen and Kanda get into a fight**

3\. **Allen and Kanda's upcoming scene is interrupted by Lavi (as it always is lol) and they are forced to meet again in secret or on a mission (i'll decide if you don't give a more detailed idea)**

4\. **or give me an idea of your own of what you would love to see!**


	8. Update

**Update! 3**

* * *

 _Hey guys, sorry it's been a while since I've uploaded a chapter! I'm currently on Vacation so I have been slow, but I am definitely working on it!_

 _I loved everyone's ideas and I LOVE it when you guys comment and talk to me. You guys have quite the adventure coming to you! :D Let's hope these knuckleheads actually get together. If not this chapter, I will make a specific chapter just for that to get that story moving along. :3_

 _I hope I can give you guy's the chapter before **November** latest. It will probably be by **September** that I'll get it out, but wish me luck and keep your eyes out for the chapter in **September**! _


	9. Chapter 8

**Part 8.**

 _ **The Dark Room**_

 _ **Disclaimer: Hoshino Katsura. I do not own DGM.**_

* * *

I sat there behind the white sheeted sofa, my hands over my lips as I tried to quiet my breathing. I didn't want Kanda to find me, I wasn't ready to face him. I was scared after what had happened to us in that hall, it confused me and it had made my heart race so quickly. I didn't want to think about it, I didn't want to talk to him about it. I wasn't ready to enter that side of reality yet.

I stayed hidden for a while, listening to the sound of Kanda's heavy boots step throughout the stone floor in attempt to find me. He was quiet and the only way I could tell where he was, was from his steps. Eventually, the sound of his footsteps was right in front of the Sofa, right there in front of where I was hiding. I felt as if my heart had stopped, panic spreading through my veins as the footsteps had come to a halt.

"Moyashi" I heard him speak "I see you. Come out already" his voice was soft, not sounding angry.

I stayed put for a moment, shocked taken over my body as I tried to still my shaking. I took a moment to calm and collect myself before slowly standing, turning my head to see the dark raven there in front of me with his arms crossed. He didn't look happy for having to chase after me and find me.

"Why did you run and hide? I wasn't going to hurt you…" he said to me, but I didn't believe a word he said. The way he had been running at me certainly did not feel like he was not going to hurt me. I took a deep breath, pushing my hands in my front pockets and looked down at my feet,

"Sorry. I guess I am still jumpy from my assignment. I- er, kind of hit my head so…. I must not be thinking all that clearly" I stated, keeping my eyes darted to the floor. I felt awkward, not like myself when I spoke to Kanda. I honestly didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to know why he did what he did. It wasn't right, and I doubt my wish would ever come true. When had any of my wishes truly come true? Kanda wouldn't fall for someone like me. He wouldn't dare look at me the way I desired to be looked at by those beautiful cobalt eyes. That wasn't reality. Reality was cruel, it's only existence was to find out your weaknesses and trick you, turn it around and have it blow up in your face. That was reality and this was no fairy tale where my knight in shining armor came to save me.

I snapped from my train of thought when I heard Kanda's voice start again "From your assignment, huh?" He asked me, staring at me with an uncertain look in his eyes.

"Yes" was all I said, silence falling between us. The air felt heavy, the silence beginning to slightly kill me as the man who I looked up to stared at me with concerning eyes. I couldn't stand it! I was going to say something, anything to try and dismiss myself, but before I could even make a sound Kanda spoke:

"Listen, Moyashi. I wanted to explain to you what- What that was there in the hall before you left for your assignment", rubbing the back of his neck quietly. My eyes moved up and gazed into his, unsure of the increase in my heart beat.

"Well…. "I trailed "I suppose that'll be fine. It- It was strange. An explanation would be nice" I stuttered nervously. Kanda took a deep breath and walked over to the sheeted sofa and sat down on it, looking up at me with a sure look in his eyes. "I know it must've been strange for you. Being pinned to the wall by me" he mumbled, looking down "but I- "Kanda was caught off by the interruption of Lavi entering the room.

"sup!" the red head grinned, waving towards us. Perhaps Lavi saw the nervousness I held, maybe the fear in my eyes; because the feeling I had was [Lavi came to my rescue]. "I came to get Al'. Lena-Lady is looking for him" he said to Kanda smoothly and put his large hand on my smaller shoulder and squeezed. "Come on Allen" he said to me and lead me out of the room. I could hear cursing under Kanda's breath, my head turning to look at Kanda but his gaze had been hidden under his black bangs. That was the last image of Kanda I saw before Lavi closed the door.

I looked to Lavi and took a deep breath, my eyes reading a small "thank you" and then quickly ran off from him, bolting straight to my room. I honestly felt like crying. I didn't trust myself in that room with Kanda and I didn't want to face him, I didn't want to force myself into such a situation- a situation I had no experience in. Part of me wondered what Kanda was going to say to me, but the other side of me never wanted to know. Sure, I had enjoyed the intimacy with the samurai, but I didn't want to get my hormonal hopes up. I wasn't going to trick myself into happiness just to break myself back down and crush my heart once more. I wasn't going to do that to myself, not again.

Days seemed to pass as I sat there in my room. I didn't come out, I didn't talk to my friends and I didn't talk or look at Kanda either. I wouldn't dare leave my room, I couldn't face him, I couldn't get my hopes up like I had been for almost a year now. Kanda would never fall for someone like me, not truly. Someone who is cursed and was born with such a strange and disgusting arm, it's always the same. It's always been this way so it couldn't be any different. Not with a man like Kanda. Not this time.

 **Kanda's POV**

Moyashi had been gone for about four days, locked away in his room unwilling to come out. It irritated the hell out of me, knowing I could've just made things clear with him about my intentions if that damn Usagi hadn't shown up! If only Moyashi hadn't run away, if only I had been faster he wouldn't have started avoiding me. Had I scared him? But how? That damn Moyashi was hardly afraid of anything, despite how much he cried.

I was broken from my thought by the voice of a random Finder coming to get me for an assignment. "Chief Komui wants to see you" was all I had to hear to get my ass up and start walking towards the sister-complex's office.

When I walked in, I saw Moyashi. I could see it on his face he'd been crying and I could see it in his complexion that he hadn't been eating too much either. Guilt began seeping into my core- or at least that's what I thought I felt. Moyashi, he is like this because of me? I must have done this to him.

No! I couldn't have! I'm not in control of him! How he interoperates it, is none of my concern! It's not my fault he can't handle the actions or words I speak to him! How could me kissing him affect him so greatly?

Although I say this, I still have that feeling in my gut, that horrible heavy feeling in my stomach that made my chest tighten. I'd done this to him. I made him this pale and I made him so scared to come out of his room for days. Over a kiss. A silly little kiss…. but perhaps Moyashi didn't think of it as the same silly little kiss as I did. That hadn't been his first, was it? It couldn't have been, he was almost sixteen for crying out loud. He could've had a kiss. My eyes broke from Moyashi as Komui began to speak.

"Kanda, Allen. Welcome. I've called you both here for an assignment" Komui spoke, earning a groan from Moyashi's lips. I didn't want to go on a mission where someone was mad at me. He wasn't my problem, despite with being in love with him, there was nothing I could really do with how I felt. If I wanted to kiss him, I'll sure as hell kiss him.

Moyashi folded his arms over his chest and glared a little "I refuse to go on a mission with Kanda" he stated quite strongly. I wanted to punch him…

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice Allen-Kun. You two were handed this assignment because you two are the only ones capable of this type of mission" Komui told, giving us our mission information in two beige folders.

 **Allen's POV**

I opened my folder immediately and gazed at, it seemed simple enough like any other mission would be. My attention turned to Kanda, watching his eyes scan his own folder with a serious expression. His eyebrows had furrowed in concentration, lips shut together as silence fell upon the room as he read it. I glanced over onto his page but I couldn't read it, it was all in odd symbols and not English. Was this Japanese Kanji? It was my first time seeing it, never having the chance to really meet someone from Japan whom could read it. I only wondered how Kanda had learned to read it. Did Lavi teach him? Did he go to the Asian Branch to learn it?

Kanda soon broke the silence as he looked up to Komui "Alright. Let's get going Moyashi" he spoke, standing up and straightened his coat out from the wrinkles when he sat.  
I stood with him, still holding the folder in my right hand. My blue clouded eyes looked over towards Mr. Komui and smiled a bit "Thank you for the assignment" I spoke quietly before walking out. I went on ahead of Kanda, being rather quick as he had reached out for me; his lips open to speak but before he could even get a word I was already down the hall and almost out of sight.

I could imagine the frustration Kanda would be going through since I refused to communicate with him, but I couldn't exactly help it. Kanda had startled me. I was smaller than he was, he could clearly dominate me and who knows what he'd try now that I know he likes me…things were different now between us. I couldn't tell if it was for the better or for the worse.

I walked into my bedroom, sighing in relief that Kanda had not followed me through the halls. I looked around the dark and cold bedroom, silence. That's all there was. No one greeted me here, no one spoke and I could hardly hear the other's through the walls either. I took a deep breath and walked over towards my bed that had been decorated with a pale blue blanket with a single pillow at the top of the twin bed against the right wall. I stood in front of the bed and knelt to the floor and reached down, pulling out an old suitcase. It was very old, it's color being a dusty brown with two black leather straps grooving up either side of the case to meet at the two locks next to the handles that shined of a lovely gold.

I smiled as I placed it on my bed; this had been Mana's travel case as well as the case I'd brought onto my travels when I came to the order almost 10 months ago now. So much had happened in just 10 months…so, so much.

I packed my bag and clamped it shut, taking a heavy breath before I decided to look around the stone room. I smiled a bit, wondering if this mission would be my last time in my bedroom. It was still amazing to me that I of all people had my very own bedroom within the Organization of the Black Order. It was like a dream come true even still, having so many friends stand up for me and have my back, delicious food to eat for free whenever I want it, healthcare free whenever I need it, a place to sleep and a place to call home. Before I knew it, I had a smile on my lips, my eyes gentle as I imagined all my comrade's faces, even Kanda's. It made my heart warm, a feeling I hadn't felt at all before coming here. My heart could only remember the bitterness of losing that most important person to me.

"Mana" I spoke out loud and then chuckled a bit as I shook my head. I snapped out of it and changed into my uniform, looking myself over in the mirror to make sure everything fit correctly and was in the place it was supposed to be. I eventually looked back at my bag and mentally prepared myself for the long voyage I'd be talking with Kanda. Oh, how I wish I didn't have to go but Komui had already stated this was a job just for he and I. Part of me wondered if that was just his excuse to keep Lenalee away from us. That sister-complex.

I left my room and traveled down to the underground tunnel where the gondola had been waiting for me. Kanda was already there, sat in the small boat with his arms crossed. He was silent as he watched me climb in and set my old suitcase on the floor of the boat. I sat myself on the bench and then looked to the finder whom was holding the paddle "We're ready" I spoke and then we were off.

It was a long journey and honestly, I had no idea just where we were going. That was one thing that the information folder didn't tell us. It didn't tell us where we were going and it wasn't specific on what we were doing either. Kanda had been quiet the entire time. He was completely mute and didn't even bother to look at me. I think I'd made him angry. I felt guilty for making Kanda so upset but I wasn't willing to suck up my pride just yet and talk with him about what had taken place in that hallway.

Eventually after rocking on the sea for a while, an Island came into view. It looked rather small, not as big as Islands could get. I wondered just where this Island was located and what we were doing there. Did people inhabit it?

I looked to the Finder who was continuing to steer the Gondola "um, Excuse me…" I interrupted him "just, where are we?"

"huh? Ah, that I'm not really allowed to say, Master Walker" he said to me with high respect. Now that we were here, I couldn't help but realize the crates that had been behind Kanda, shoved between the seat in the back of the boat. Tools? What could they possibly be for? We shortly then reached land.

I got off the boat, my boots stepping in the sand and my eyes looked around to survey the area. There were no villagers, no village, not even a dock or a fisherman. I looked towards the finder, feeling nervous of the situation we were in "um…" I trailed as my eyes continued to look around "are you sure this is the right place?"

"Yes sir. This is the Island Chief Komui told me to send you two" The finder spoke as he watched Kanda get off the boat with his bag. He then went to the back and picked up the old wooden crate "here. You two will need this. Until you can learn to hunt and scavenge, this is your food source" he spoke with a grunt and passed it into my arms. It was heavy!

I held it with both arms, grunting a bit and looked to Kanda with fear in my eyes. Kanda was a bit surprised by my expression so he quickly turned to the Finder "where is the village?" he spoke, seriousness in his tone but he held a bit of panic that he'd been trying to hide.

"ah…." The Finder trailed off a bit "it's not a big Island. I'm sure you'll find it eventually. See ya'" he smiled a little and pushed off the shore.

Were we just left?! Our Finder was leaving us!?

"K-Kanda…." I started, looking to him with a worried look in my eyes "I don't think there is a Village here…."

Kanda turned to me, irritation on his face as he picked up my suitcase "What makes you say that?"

I looked around the island as I stood in the sand "there aren't Villagers. Usually, Villagers stay closer to the oceans because this is where a lot of their food source comes from"

"the Ocean?"

"yes" I repeated, taking a deep breath "the fish" I gestured my head to the sea "Village people on Islands eat a lot of fish because there is just so much of it. It's also high in protein when there aren't other animals such as cow or chickens…. On an Island like this…." I trailed, "It would be hard to find animals like those without them being transported…" Kanda finished. I nodded "exactly."

He heaved a heavy sigh and looked to me "well…. the sun will be going down eventually. We need to find-…. somewhere, to stay for the night. Whether it be a village or an abandoned cave, we need somewhere to sleep. Hopefully Komui packed blankets in that pathetic little box he gave us". Kanda was a lot calmer than I expected him to be in a situation like this, while I on the other hand was freaking out on the inside.

I followed Kanda as he headed into the forest, the air becoming hot and a bit humid almost like a rainforest, but it wasn't. They were all redwoods, in the middle of the sea. How weird that redwoods would grow so near the ocean; it made me wonder if Kanda even noticed the odd surroundings, if he even knew HOW weird it was. I'd never heard of redwoods growing near the ocean.

"Come on Moyashi!" he called, far more ahead than I because I was so busy staring at the trees. I tried to quicken my pace "Coming!" I called, trying to rush towards him "be careful idiot" I heard him say as I caught up. I sighed, the box still heavy in my arms "S-sorry." I spoke, imagining he didn't want to lose any food. What kind of a person sends ONE crate of food for two people? One of them being a parasite type at that.

Kanda soon stopped, a heavy breath slipping from his lips as he looked around "it smells like rain…" he trailed off and then turned towards me, staring as I held the crate in my arms. He then said, "do you need help?" as if I was needing to be babied in some way. "I can carry a box just fine thank you! I can do that by myself you know!" I snapped, darting my face in the other direction. I heard Kanda let out a heavy sigh and heard his feet shuffle. I glanced over and saw him beginning to walk again, his hair swaying behind him as he moved. His hair really was beautiful- in fact, Kanda was an extremely beautiful person. I knew Kanda was genetically created to be a perfect exorcist but I just couldn't get over it even still. I quickly rushed after Kanda again, feeling the goods in my arms clank around in the crate.

It seemed as If we'd been walking forever as we traveled through the forest. The sun was going down, my feet were aching and my forehead was damp with sweat; hair sticking to my face from the stickiness on my skin and my hands were now covered in splinters from the crate sliding in my hands when I walked. My feet were now beginning to shuffle, my eyes getting heavy as I slowed down. Kanda was about ten feet ahead of me, walking easily but he was sweating just as much as I was. We were both wearing our black uniforms with the red trimming on an island, climbing up rocks, maneuvering through the trees, bushes and trying not to trip over roots as we tried to find some form of a path. Honestly, neither of us knew where we were going, all we knew was that we needed to find shelter.

I was stopped when Kanda halted and set the bags down, "Moyashi" he called for me, turning in my direction. I blinked my white eyelashes and walked closer, my breath shaky and raged as I tried my best not to let my legs fall weak on me. I was relieved when Kanda met me half way towards him and took the crate from my hands. "are you alright?" was what I heard before the world began to spin. I had opened my mouth to respond to him but before I could even say a word, the world around me had gone to black, the last my ears picking up was the faint sound of Kanda calling me that ridiculous nickname he liked to call me.

* * *

 _{Allen…}_

 _"Yes?" I asked, standing in a dark room as I heard my name called. My eyes moved around, trying my best to locate where this man's voice came from. "who are you? What do you want from me?" I called out, my voice raising as it began to lace with slight panic._

 _{Are you afraid?}_

 _"Me? Afraid...? Never!" I stated, though I was only a bit scared because I couldn't see. If only there was some light._

 _Just as I had wished, the room became lighter, the ground and walls beginning to glow as if it'd been kissed by something holy. I could now see I was in a small room, the walls a hard but rough cement but they were so bright I could hardly tell if I didn't look at the texturing. I took a step forward and took in my surroundings, but the moment I turned around to look behind me, I saw Kanda. He was standing there with a soft look on his face. His expression was neutral, but his eyes were soft and relaxed. He wasn't glaring at me, he didn't have any hate in his eyes._

 _"Allen" I heard him say, his voice sounding as if it were bouncing off the walls to create a slight echo in my ears._

 _"Kanda…" I said, frowning slightly as I felt my face become hot with a dark red color. Kanda was a beautiful person, but now that he was using such a sweet tone in his voice I just couldn't help but melt. I wanted to touch him, I wanted to know the feeling of those lips that taunted at me for so long. I'd always longed for it- ever since I met the samurai. Those beautiful perfect lips I seemed to crave but, was this even real? I couldn't remember anything, I couldn't remember anything I was doing before this, how I'd gotten here and how Kanda got here either._

 _I came out of my thoughts as a warmth wrapped around my frail body, Kanda's arms embracing me to his chest. The left side of my face was shoved into Kanda's chest, my face becoming hotter from the slight embarrassment I felt. It was too much! It was too much of a dream come true for it to be real! Nothing has ever been this good for me! And if it really was happening, then in the end something bad would happen. Kanda would get sick of me, he'd toss me away and get bored of me, maybe something terrible would happen to him. I felt my heart sink at the thought but before I could try to pull away, Kanda had gripped my face and pulled my eyes to his own cobalt ones._

 _{You shouldn't think that way, Moyashi} he said to me, his voice filling my ears as tears threatened to fall from my blue cloudy eyes._

 _I felt my voice break as I tried to speak "I can't…. Kanda, I just- "I hesitated. I didn't want to think about it; all those horrible memories of the past fighting to resurface themselves into my heart. I'd lost so much, missed out on so much like unconditional love of parents and a home. I'd loved Mana, the one person who shoved me what love was like, someone who I'd held so close to my heart was gone along with Master Cross. I didn't want it to happen again._

 _I felt Kanda's grip around me tighten, holding me close as tears fell down my cheeks._

 _{Not everything has to be that way, Allen. Not everything is horrible or unfortunate like the death of your foster father. We both know what kind of a person I am. What kind of body I have. I cannot die}_

 _"but Kanda, you've already saved Alma…You met that person…. Shouldn't you die and go to him?" I sobbed faintly. Feeling as if my heart had been ripped out my chest._

 _{No. There is still work to be done}, he pulled away from me and looked me in the eyes with a determined and encouraged look in his own {There is you}_.

* * *

I gasped out as I woke up from my sleep, my eyes focusing on some jagged rocks from above me on the ceiling. Where was I? My eyes looked around but I quickly jumped when Kanda was suddenly in my face, putting something cold on my forehead. I let out a groan of discomfort, feeling hot and icky but I mostly felt cold except for my face. Why? Why did I feel so cold? I wanted a blanket.

I whimpered as Kanda shushed me, putting a finger against my lips. "Don't speak yet…" he demanded me and then looked down at me. "you've got a small fever. It seems you pushed yourself a bit passed your limits. It's alright though, I found an abandoned cave to take shelter in for the night. Stay down unless you want me to hit you" he grumbled a bit and dabbed a cold wet cloth against my hot cheeks. I was covered in sweat but I was happy at least to lie down and relax, even if it were just the cold hard stone under me.

"You fell pretty hard" Kanda sighed and then looked down at me as he sat there.  
I smiled a little and relaxed at the feeling of the cold rag against my face "thank you, Kanda. I have a feeling…we're never going to find that village…" I spoke faintly, trying to keep my eyes open as they were heavy. I could feel my fever bogging my train of thought, making my muscles weak and ache. This was the worst possible thing to happen while on a mission. I was practically immobile.

"I'd carry you if I had to Moyashi…If you can't stand by tomorrow, we'll have to ditch our bags and just carry the crate. I'm sorry…" he said softly. I let out a whimper at the idea "I can't…c-can't we at least keep one other pair of clothing?"

"A spare shirt, pants and lots of underwear then" he said and gently brushed his index finger against my cheek. "you're still hot…" he said and then looked towards the outside of the cave. I followed his gaze and saw the sun had yet set and it was getting dark. "shit... I should make a fire and start making something to eat" he muttered and stood up, leaving the rag on my forehead. I smiled a little at the thought of Kanda cooking something on his own. I'd never seen it, so it was hard to believe that it was even possible to imagine it. I watched him fiddle around to make a fire, making himself a little pit and scraped items together until he got a fire roaring nicely. He could make a fire at least on his own, what a wonderful skill I wish I knew. I should ask him sometime to teach me it.

My eyes got heavier by the moment, watching Kanda cook and prepare a meal from whatever contents were held in the crate. Eventually, I fell back to sleep on the stone, my body eventually curling up due to becoming cold. I soon felt warm though, suspecting Kanda had finally laid a blanket over me and put something under my head. It wasn't that bad, being pampered by Kanda. I felt like I could be vulnerable around him, despite the feeling of not wanting to risk getting my heart hurt- but it didn't matter if he took care of me as a friend, did it?

* * *

 _{Allen…} I heard a voice call out to me, a grown man's voice. It wasn't Kanda this time._

 _I stood on a bench, the world around me a beautiful forest with a large lake right in the middle of it. I sat in front of it where the beautiful white birch bench sat. My hands were folded in my lap, my shoulders relaxed as I sat back and even slouched a bit. It was so nice here, a place to calm down and enjoy the scenery, enjoy the quiet._

 _{Allen…} I heard again by the same voice._

 _"Mana?" I asked, my blue eyes looking around as I tried to figure out just where my foster father was. "Mana, where are you?" I asked again._

 _{Allen…I'm right here~!} I heard, his voice becoming clearer._

 _I turned my head and looked to the man behind me. He wore a nice lined suit, his top hat upon his head as it stood tall._  
 _"Mana" I smiled, my heart warming as I saw him give me a loving smile. I felt like his son again, I wanted to feel the warmth of his touch, be held once more by those strong arms that had held my small and frail body so long ago. I adored that feeling of protection, security the man had given me. The feeling of nothing being able to touch me, or harm me._

 _I reached my hand out and grabbed his coat. I could feel it! I could feel every seem, every woven piece of fabric; the roughness, thin layered fabric, cold metal buttons under my fingertips. Tears threatened to leave my eyes as I stared up at the man's face in front of me, surprised he was so…lifelike. What an amazing dream to have. To have my father so close, so realistic and lifelike. "Mana…" I said again, tears falling._

 _"Allen" he spoke and wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest. I stood to the middle of his chest, warmth surrounding my body as I began to hear the beating of the man's heart. He was alive….my god was he surely alive and his heart was beating so strongly! I couldn't help but begin to cry, covering my mouth with my right hand as the left clung to the back of the man's suit jacket._

 _"don't cry my son…" Mana spoke, his hand touching my white hair as he stroked it lovingly. It felt too real, my heart couldn't take it. "I can't help it, Mana…. I- I missed you so much!" I whimpered in a response as I tried to calm down. I knew it pained Mana to see me cry. He never knew how to handle it, never knew how to comfort me truly. He'd cried himself so much he couldn't anymore. It was like they truly had dried up, like the man once said at the meeting._

 _Eventually, it felt like I was a child again. Laughing, talking, playing and joking around with my once father. The man I loved, talked to me and looked at me as if time hadn't even passed._

* * *

 **KANDA'S POV**

I watched an eye out on Moyashi as I cooked our dinner over the fire. There had been some slices of meat in the box covered in packets of ice. They were cooked but I had to heat them up. My eyes looked away from the fire and looked over towards the younger male. Usually, the boy would toss and turn, sleep in odd positions or even mumble in his sleep. It could've been the fever, but he was completely still, silent even. I had covered him up with a blanket I'd found in the crate and had even placed a small bear I'd found in the boy's suit case next to him. Why on earth he'd bring a bear with him to a mission was beyond me, but it wasn't necessarily my business.

I tapped my hand against my knees as I was squat down in front of the fire pit, the sticks held up by rocks pressed against each other. I was worried for the Moyashi getting sick. He had a high fever, turning his face a horrible red color, sweating making such a pained expression as he slept. What if he got worse? What if the outside cause him to get even more sick? There were no doctors, no one to heal him…. If Moyashi got sick enough…

I swallowed thickly at the thought of what could happen. I finally heard rustling and witnessed the boy give a tired groan, turning onto his side. Finally, he'd moved. I had feared he would die. I stood up on my feet and walked over to him, removing the rag from his forehead and frowned a bit as I discovered it had become as warm as the boy's skin. I looked to the bowl of water I had gathered from a nearby pond and rinsed it back in the water. I waited until it was nice and cold again and then placed it back on his forehead. I felt horrible, horrible for not saying something when I had witnessed him struggle half way up here. I had noticed the way his legs had trembled, his feet dragging behind him and the way his expression had shown sign of misery. I kept pushing him though, for hours. Far too long for him to have continued. Had he eaten? Drink anything? He could be dehydrated….

I stood once more and then looked out to the cave and then looked towards the heating up food. It would be warm by the time I could get some water…. but the question was, was the water drinkable? I had no idea what had parasites or what was dirty. Perhaps I could boil it? Lavi had told me that heat killed germs. I nodded my head, determined as I took a small bucket and made my way out of the cave to start on my journey to find the pond. It was dangerous, leaving Moyashi in the condition he was in, alone and unable to fend for himself. I knew the risk, but if anything happened to him…. I shook my head once more. This was no time to think negatively. I had to take care of Moyashi. I knew nothing of taking care of the sickly, not to mention a child who cried and whined at such discomfort. Honestly it was a little annoying, but the thought of him going back to his happy and cheerful self somehow made it worth it.

I ventured out for a while in the forest and found the pond I had gotten the water for Moyashi's forehead and walked up to it. I panted slightly, the hills quite steep and I'd only stumbled once this time. I still could feel my wounds healing from when I had fallen the first time. I positioned myself down and took my bucket as I crouched down, dipping the metal into the water and scooped up as much water as I could. I then stood and looked at the amount. At least half of it would make it back on my journey, depending on how careful I was about it. I turned around and began to make my way back, huffing as I walked past the same trees. I'd tied a red handkerchief on of the branches to show me a familiar item, something I could find my way back with. When I entered the cave, I saw Moyashi was still asleep. He was now sprawled out, his arms over his head with his back stretched out. I smirked a bit at the odd position and then took the bucket over to the fire. How would I hold it up? The bucket would get hot…. I looked around and tried to find something I could use for a stove top. The crate, luckily had an iron rack. Perfect. That damn Komui must've known we'd have to boil something at one point. I set the rack over the fire and then set the bucket onto it, trying to get the fire hot enough to start boiling the water.

I eventually left it and took the food away from the fire and made my way back to boy. I sat down on the stone and gently shook him away "Moyashi" I called, eventually waking him up. I watched as those adorable blue cloudy eyes opened, at first blurred and dead until his consciousness took over again. "I brought you some dinner. It's not much, but it's better than nothing. I'll have to hunt or something to get a bigger food source" I assured him, helping him sit up so he could eat.

"Kanda…" I heard him say, his breathing heavy and his expression showing discomfort as I had sat him up. I felt bad for him, stupid…. stupid…. stupid. I did this to him. I gave him the cooked meat and watched him eat slowly. It was different. He wasn't stuffing his face like he normally did. He was nibbling slowly, taking his take with it. This caught me off guard, perhaps this just proved how horrible he felt. "Moyashi…. I'm sorry" I said aloud and stared at him as his gaze became caught In mine. "I pushed you up the hill and now you're sick"

"It's fine Kanda. I did this to myself too." I heard him say and then watched as his eyes looked down at the food he was eating, "I hadn't been eating all that much…. sleep has been something hard to come by lately too" he responded and then looked back at me with a small smile. "nightmares." Was all he said before beginning to nibble again.

After we finished our meal and I finally got some liquids into the teen, I had set him up on a more cushioned area, using the sleeping bags Komui gave us to give him a comfortable place to sleep. He was out like a light as soon as his head hit the buddle of coats I'd given him. I sat myself against the wall next to him, my eyes watching the fire burn as it kept us warm. The sun was gone and the wind had picked up outside. I felt like it was about to rain from the smell in the air. Before I knew it, the world around me had come to a calming atmosphere.

I woke up the next morning, the fire pit completely gone of its flame. I rubbed my eyes a bit tiredly, looking around my surroundings. I suppose I'd dozed off deep into that night. Moyashi then came to my mind and I looked over to see his bed empty. I stood up quickly, taking my uniform off to only wear my dark navy training shirt under it. I looked around and went out of the cave since he wasn't inside. I looked to see the boy standing right in front of it, staring up at the sky as it rained "Moyashi" I called, snapping the boy out of his thoughts. His eyes had been so sad as he stared up, his expression that of someone whom lost something so dear to them.

He turned to me, a smile creeping across his lips as he tried to cheer up "Kanda…. thank you for taking care of me. I'm feeling a lot better now" he spoke, walking over and came into the cave with me.

"are you an idiot?! You just got better! Are you trying to get sick again!?"

Allen only laughed at this though, a smile spreading across his face. I found myself staring at the happy expression, relief washing over me as I saw that expression I loved so much. He really was feeling better, huh? I walked him towards the fire pit and tried to get it lit again. As I did this I noticed him watch my hands, curiousness in his eyes. "What?" I asked him, pausing for a moment to get a response. "Ah," he paused and then smiled up at me "It's just, I've never learned how to start on a fire on my own…. I wanted to learn how". I felt the corners of my lips tug as I thought about it. He wanted me to teach him something? It strangely filled me with joy.

I cleared my throat, holding the two rocks I held and began to show him how to make some sparks, what kind of rocks to use to get that perfect friction. He watched me intently, even demonstrating himself but he would flinch occasionally whenever he saw a spark. He was startled by fire, afraid of being burned…. I walked next to him and put my hands on his, guiding them to get the friction and tried to help him not be so nervous. His hands, they were small compared to mine; paler, thinner and frailer. His left arm was a cold black and it felt rough under my own left hand. I'd always wondered what it felt like, if it'd felt rougher or if it felt just like his other hand…but it was soft and the texture reminded me of a textured wall.

Eventually, we had the perfect fire started and now we could eat. He smiled a bit as he messed with the chains of his coat, trying to warm himself up from the rain that had nearly drenched him.

We had stayed in that cave for nearly two days, waiting for the rain to calm down and pull away. When it finally stopped and the dirt was dry enough, I gathered up our things, Moyashi this time holding the bags while I carried the crate. We made our way down the hill, carrying our belongings and food. We traveled for a while, wondering just where we were going and how far this Island was going to go.

 **ALLEN'S POV**

I walked with Kanda for hours, traveling through the forest. I walked down the dirt path, holding the suitcases in my arms. I t was quiet between us, Kanda wouldn't talk to me- much less look at me. I couldn't help but suddenly feel bad about getting sick or not speaking out about my exhaustion before it had gotten so bad. I continued to walk the dirt path with Kanda, listening to the crunching under our boots from the fallen leaves that painted along the ground.

I watched Kanda's feet moving in front of me, watching his careful steps as he lead the way. He was being cautious, maybe more for my sake than his own since I was the one that could drop sick again any moment. We hadn't had any drinkable water. Sure, Kanda had boiled some water, but it honestly didn't make me feel very hydrated. Eventually, we found a river. It had a nice fast current and was possibly drinkable from how fast the water was moving. Bacteria wouldn't have a long enough chance to linger. I watched Kanda as he set the crate of food down on top of a rock by the river bank, moving over towards the water and cupped some in his hands and drank some of it. He turned to me and nods "It's Fresh water. The cleanest we're probably going to get" he told me, shaking the water off his hands.

I set the suitcases down on a patch of grass next to the rock Kanda had placed our crate on, becoming eager to get some water in me. I joined Kanda by the river and took off my Exorcist uniform and set it in the grass behind me so I wouldn't get it wet. I turned to Kanda slightly as he drank some of the water and I followed after him, using my hands to drink it and relax my sore palms.

Silence was still between the raven and I. I really wondered if I had done something or said something other than getting sick. As I sat there in thought, a chiming of metal moving from Kanda caught my attention. I looked towards the samurai and witnessed Kanda taking off his clothes. My face flushed with a bright red,

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" I shouted in surprise.

"I decided it would be a good idea to bathe since the water is so clean here" He stated casually, putting his boots on the grass with the rest of his clothes. IT was true, we hadn't bathed in almost two days now and it could improve our moods too. I let out a sigh of defeat as Kanda got in the shallow river which got deeper the farther you roamed. I must admit, watching Kanda there naked was a nice sight. His skin was beautiful, flawless. I wondered how a person his height didn't even had skin marks.

I watched him for quite a while before I decided to join him. I feel gross and my feet and muscles were killing me, so why not? I took off my clothes and set them with Kanda's, stepping into the cold water. It was nice, it wasn't too cold, but the sun had been keeping it warm enough for it to be relaxing. I joined Kanda into the deeper waters and dunk my head under to rinse my hair out from the dirt. It sadly wouldn't be One hundred percent clean, but I didn't get a choice in that. No soap. I soon lifted my head back out of the water, pushing my white hair out of my face. It looked almost gray now, like a storm cloud full of water.

"This is nice" Kanda commented suddenly, leaning back a bit. I had to give him a nod, just glad he was talking to me "It is. It's nice to cool off. It's kind of hot here…" I trailed. HE was hot, and I just couldn't handle it. My face was a dark red as I tried not to look at the beautiful person beside me, oh why did I have to be attracted to him? Why did he have to have such a look in those beautiful eyes? I knew I was heavily, attracted to the man but why was I so hesitant? Was it because of my age? Did I not believe anything I felt because I was still only Fifteen years old? I knew about hormones, I knew that they could make you feel things that weren't true. I knew they could make you love someone without a second thought. Was that why I was so scared before? Did I not trust my own heart enough?

Kanda's eyes soon met mine, causing me to feel a warmth run through my body. I'd been caught staring.

"Like what you see Moyashi?" he flashed a cocky smirk at me. I turned my head away with embarrassment "of course not!" I answered in a louder tone than I anticipated. My eyes turned back towards him soon enough and he was still looking at me. I rose my arms up to cover my chest now, suddenly feeling self-conscious. I was completely bare and alone with Kanda, no Lavi to protect me this time. Kanda looked like a predator staring at his meal. Eep!

I watched as Kanda slowly got closer to me, "Listen Moyashi" he trailed, putting an arm behind me but didn't touch me. My heart was racing so fast, I couldn't calm down at all. I was anxious. I noticed Kanda pull his arm away from me again with hesitation.

"Don't say anything, okay? I just want to talk…" Kanda glanced away from me, sighing with a heavy breath. This was it, this was the end!

"I know that I scared you in the hall that one time. I suppose…I didn't mean to "he paused a moment, touching the back of his neck awkwardly "I just couldn't help myself. Something in me, struck I suppose. I've, had my eye on you for a while now, and I didn't believe it at first…but, it's been happening…" Now that I was thinking about it, I could hardly believe this. Kanda's face was now a beet red with his eyes gazed away. He'd become shy.

"Listen Moyashi, I really like you… It's probably inappropriate to tell you at this moment, since we aren't really in clothes but, I've been trying to tell you for a while …" he trailed, keeping his eyes away before lowly bring them back to me. What was I supposed to do? Was Kanda confessing his feelings for me? I felt like I needed a paper bag to breathe into.

I must've looked pretty freaked out in that moment since Kanda had scooted himself away from me. I didn't want to reject him! I loved him! Oh god did I love him! I panicked the moment I thought I hurt him.

"Kanda I-"I was cut off when he placed a finger over my lips "I know. But you aren't ready for it. I know. But when you are, I'll be there. Now, if you tell anyone what here today, you know what will happen, don't you? "he asked, suddenly threatening me. That was the Kanda I knew, the grouchy asshole I knew and Loved. A smile came to my lips finally, calming down to Kanda's understand. "Yes, "I answered "I won't tell anyone" and then let out a sneeze. By the look of Kanda's expression, it had startled him. His eyes looked like they were about to jump out of his head. I let out a giggle at his expression, but was shocked to find that Kanda had given me a smirk.

"Okay, time to get you out and dried off "he said, getting out of the water quite quickly. I watched him pull a very small towel out of the crate "This will have to do, unless you rather use a blanket…" he trailed.

I gave him a smile and nodded my head "maybe the blanket instead" I replied, beginning to feel my body shiver. Kanda must've spotted my shaking because he began to frantically look for the blanket. It wasn't as if I were going to die, I was just cold from the water. I'd stayed in too long.

I slowly got out of the water as Kanda held out the blanket for me, wrapping it around my shaking body. I couldn't help but lean into him a bit, my face heating up as my gaze moved away from him. He was being so gentle with me…. perhaps he was afraid I would fall ill again. One more problem for him to deal with.

"thanks, "I smiled and walked towards my clothes. The air was less awkward now, and I could feel us become closer every second. I was glad that the heavy atmosphere was gone, even though it was I who created it.

Kanda gave me a nod and then began to dry himself off and put his clothes back on. I watched as he got dressed, neither of of us saying a thing and Kanda didn't seem to mind too much with me watching. I stood there in the blanket, shivering as my sneezes began to happen a lot more frequently. I must've sneezed Thirty times within the last two minutes. I dried back off and put my clothes on. They felt like they'd been sitting in the sun all day after washing, it felt nice and warm. The sneezing didn't stop after I put my clothes on, but worst of all was: my nose had begun to run. Wonderful! Just wonderful!

" 'Go on a mission' they said. 'Only you can do it' they said "I growled out, gaining a scoff and a smirk from the stone cold samurai next to me. Success! I got him to smile! I couldn't help but feel happy that I at least got a scoff. I could be funny sometimes. Right?

* * *

 _ **Hello everyone! So glad that I had gotten this Chapter done! YAY! (writing is harder than it looks x.X )**_

 _ **So, I went in between a bunch of ideas, but their mission isn't finished yet! Allen and Kanda have now gotten interrupted by Lavi, Kanda confessed his love for Allen and the ice between them as broken! I won't make this next chapter as long just because you all are probably groaning and crying that they aren't together yet. If you think I should make the chapter's longer, please say so and I can do that (I felt i was sparing you all somehow by making them smaller).**_

 _ **So I won't have a poll this time, but if you all have ideas for future events, please let me know! That'd be appreciated greatly!**_

 _ **Again, I LOVE hearing from you guys and looking at your opinions and I am touched to see that you all still love it and are wanting more. I hope I can continue to give you the content you love so much. 3**_


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